Flashback Fridays

Do It Yourself
So yesterday I decided I would finally accomplish a little apartment repair that I have been putting off since I moved in. I have this old beautiful cabinet in my kitchen that holds my dishes and glassware. I have been storing my coffee mugs on the only counter space I have because the cabinet was full. For some reason the previous tenant had hooks on the third shelf , but that is the only shelf high enough to store my wine glasses and vases. So, I moved the hooks to the bottom of the shelving so that my mugs would sit above the counter top. I also had to spackle the holes that the hooks had created and then repaint the cabinet shelf. Needless to say when I was done I was very proud of myself. It made me think of the subject of this Flashback Friday.

I grew up with a single mom; a very ingenuitive single mom who made things work without a lot of money. She raised four kids on her own while working full time and she put herself through college. The home repair fix all of choice in the Beck home: Duct Tape. When the linoleum is so worn that someone might trip over the holes that show the exposed wood below, use Duct Tape. And then cover with a throw rug for aesthetic purposes.

My sister Jenny and I came to understand the broad scope of duct tape's handiness one April afternoon. We were probably 12 and 9 and it was my mother's birthday. Mom's birthday always falls close to Mother's day so we decided that with our non-existent funds we would give her something that wouldn't cost us anything, but that might relieve some of the stress in her life. We were about to embark on a plumbing expedition of a lifetime. The kitchen sink was always clogging and of late had become a real problem. We knew without our intervention mom was going to call Roto Rooter and that was an expense we really couldn't afford and one Jen and I could avert by pooling our plumbing talents. We had seen mom and Uncle Tim and Grandpa all attempt to fix the problem so we knew the steps to take. I'm sure at this point you are wondering where our supervision was. John was asleep in his room.

Fist step, snake. We were really sure of ourselves on this one. We even knew how it worked. Insert the snake into the drain and move it around and push it along until whatever ickiness is in there moves out of the way. Well, when we pushed that snake all the way in and pulled it out the water still wasn't draining very well. So, we discussed the problem and decided to move to the next step. Step two, take apart the pipes. This, of course, was moving into uncharted territory. Neither of us had ever done this and I don't think we'd ever watched anyone either. But, we knew what a monkey wrench was and we knew how to use it. We pulled out mom's toolbox and found the wrench. We took turns turning the wrench along the joints of the pipes. It was hard work and the wrench slipped and fell and we would return it to the joints that much more determined to take the pipes apart. See, we believed that if we took the pipes apart we would find the clog, remove it and then put it all back together. Each section we took apart we looked for a clog only to be disappointed that it wasn't there. We moved on until there were no longer anymore aluminum pipes left to search. The only thing left was this big thick metal pipe that went into the basement. This was an unexpected dilemma. We had worked so hard only to find that the clog was in a big pipe that we couldn't take apart. We went ahead and snaked the big pipe having no way of knowing if we unclogged anything because there was no way to get water to the pipe. Well, despite our heavy disappointment we knew that we'd have to put everything back together and that mom's anxiety about the clog wouldn't be relieved for her birthday. We worked very hard to put everything back as it had been. We argued about how it all fit together and our small arms ached from the hard laboring of the last hour. We finally got it together. It looked exactly as it had before we took it apart. And in a last ditch effort to see if our snaking of the big pipe worked Jenny turned the water on, both of us looking expectantly between the pipes under the counter and the water collecting in the basin. Something unexpected occurred and we began to scream. These were not the screams of excitement of a mission accomplished, but instead and "OH NO!" moment. The water was spraying out of every single joint along the pipes. Jenny reached up and turned off the water. We knew it was time to wake up John. This endeavor had become too big of a mess to not include him. John is the type of sleeper that no matter what time of day (it was late afternoon) he sleeps hard and always takes time to wake up. Needless to say, when we dragged him out of bed and into the kitchen, showed him what we had done, he woke up. We had stripped the pipes he said. Every last thread on every joint was stripped. We would just have to explain everything to mom when she got home.

Jenny and I were devastated and when mom arrived home we could barely get out Happy Birthday without crying. Through our tears she listened to the story spill out of our mouths. She wasn't very happy, but I think in some way she was laughing inside. Mom got out the Duct tape and began the very arduous task of duck taping every joint under that sink. We placed a bucket to catch the water. It stayed that way for awhile with us replacing the duct tape when it got too wet and worn. My Uncle Tim finally replaced the pipes, but the aluminum pipes were too expensive, so Mom had him buy the plastic. It never really fit perfectly and we ended up duct taping them too.

Ever Sing to a Cat?

Well, regardless of how crazy it may make me sound, I have. And I have to say Stewie is the worst cat to bear your soul to. Last night I was having a mild breakdown where I realized it's been a year from the last show I did. All I wanted was Stewie to hang out with me on the couch (something he's not allowed to do) so that I could pet him. I thought it would help. Instead when I offered up a portion of the couch to him, he scratched me and the couch. Today I was dancing and singing to him and I swear he was looking at me like I was the crazy one. I have to say, I was silently hoping that he'd turn into Puss 'n Boots, stand on his hind legs and dance with me (and I also thought it would be really cool if he started singing like Antonio Banderas). So, how did I come to have this spirited cat in my home? Meredith moved in with me a few months ago and brought her cat along. Stewie was abused and starved before a friend of Mere's found him and made him "all better". (I think this person happened to be a veterinarian, but I think we all may have been better served if he were a cat shrink). Basically, what I'm trying to tell you is that Stewie's got issues. And, Meredith being the wonderful person she is felt that she could take him in and give him a loving home. Problem is, I don't think he understands love very well. He can be so mean sometimes. He will chase Mere around the apartment and then bite her leg. You can walk past him and he will lash out and scratch you. Now, I have to admit to everyone that before Stewie I had never had a pet unless you count the two fish I got on my sixteenth birthday that lived about two months. Ironically I named them Bill and Hillary. I should have realized they probably wouldn't last too long in the same fishbowl. I also have the privilege of being the daughter of a therapist who used to tell me stories of animals that would come out of the woods and talk to me. How does that relate, you ask? Well, I feel like I have this unique ability(by proxy) of diagnosing people's problems and to make it worse I think that I'm right most of the time. Because of the stories my mom told me, I think my ability also translates to animals. I think that Stewie is bipolar.

Ten On Tuesdays

1. I couldn't write yesterday because I was so exhausted from my weekend in Baltimore with Charissa.
2. I'm definitely sick again (or still), not sure which. I keep hoping I'll wake up and it will be miraculously gone.
3. I can't definitively blame it on smokey bars, but I'm sure that didn't help (I'm also sure staying up into the night and drinking probably weren't the smartest choices, but we sure had a great time). Baltimore, you probably don't realize it yet, but you'll be thankful when your smoking ban goes through next year.
4. Thank you Michael Bloomberg for NYC's smoking ban. It has left me sitting by myself inside while friends went out to smoke, but I don't have smell bad after a night out.
5. Mere and I watched the DVD Life As a House starring Kevin Kline last week. The first time I saw it I had just moved to NYC and my dad was in the hospital. It's one of those movies that makes you realize how precious life is. The metaphor of building a house and rebuilding life is beautiful. If you don't like your life, change it. Rent it, watch it.
6. Charissa, I'm not gonna make it to Union Square today. I'm sorry. I know you were counting on me to deliver your message to your new bf, but I woke up too late.
7. Spring Awakening won the Tony for best new musical. I haven't seen it, but I'm kind of confused.
8. I am going to the gym today. Maybe I can sweat this cold from my body.
9. I bought a 3 CD set of yoga meditations and I can't wait to finish this list so I can sit and meditate.
10. I'm kind of disappointed that more people didn't comment on my immigration post. Thanks, Denny. I know that I kind of lumped all immigration with illegal immigration, but it was the first time that I really started to frame my thoughts on the subject.

Personalize Immigration

Have you ever really thought hard about immigration? Do you ever turn the TV off and just think about it? Well, I think that might be a really good way for the country to come together on this. Will we be able to solve every problem? No, but because the problem is not completely solvable doesn't mean that steps shouldn't be taken for its resolution. Constant dialogue between citizens is an important way that we can all come to solutions that we can all live with. I encourage anyone who reads this to respond whether or not they agree or disagree. I also think that anyone who reads this and has a blog of their own should tell their story of immigration and how they feel about it. Let me also just say that although this written medium makes opinion seem final, my opinion on this is only beginning to form and I think it's important to acknowledge that. So, having said that, here goes...
First let me say, I'm not exactly sure how my family got here. (Also, if I'm incorrect in the details, someone from my family please steer me correctly). I'm more certain about my father's family than my mother's. His family arrived from Germany (Baden-Baden) sometime during the 19th century. I remember reading about them in a book with my father's family tree outlined. And that's about it. I can surmise they had an arduous journey on a boat, but from where they sailed or where they came to, I am at a loss. It's kind of sad how little I know about this and if you think about your own family's journey to this country, I hope that you know more about it than I do. I think that lack of knowledge of our own families' journeys may be part of the problem. We have become so far removed from immigration that it all seems seperate from us. (I, of course, seem to be addressing this to white European-Americans, not because I mean to exclude, but because that's what I am). We need to make it personal by reclaiming our own family's stories of immigration and sharing them. America is immigration: forced, legal, or otherwise.
I live in New York City and have worked with and met people of varying immigration status. I also live in a highly Hispanic and Latino neighborhood, Jackson Heights, Queens. I have no way of knowing someone's status, nor do I think it's any of my business as a fellow employee or as a neighbor. I put trust in the companies I have worked for that they are doing what they are supposed to. What I can tell you is that the people (most of the immigrants I have encountered at work are men) I have known are hard working individuals. Some send their money home to their familes in Africa, South America, Latin America, the Middle East. And others have begun starting their families here. The one thing that impresses me most, though, is the love they have for this country. This is the place of their dreams, not because it has to be because of birthright, but because of choice. That is huge. They want to share their cultures as much as they want to be influenced by the positive aspects of our own, primarily the idea of freedom.
I know much of the debate centers around illegal immigrants from Mexico, Latin and South America, but I think it's important to focus on what you personally know of immigration rather than feeding off a 30- second sound bite on CNN or Fox News. First and foremost I think that border security must come before any comprehensive legislation should be passed. Why? Because attempting to fix all the problems with one bill the Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act of 2007, and all at once (regardless of time tables for the implementation of different parts) sends money in too many directions. With the amount of time required to accomplish the goal of securing the border we can begin real dialogue about the important future steps. I don't mean to discount the hard work of the many senators involved here, but it's important that we get this right and that a bill is passed that is easy to implement and directly solves the problems we face. In some parts of the country we are at crisis level with this issue. Individuals are taking matters into their own hands. We cannot answer this with short-sighted or bogged down legislation. Slow, but steady wins the race. This cannot be fixed with one bill, or in one moment, but we, the people, can start to talk about it too, and I'm sure we'll come to a place where we can all live with the results. Tell your story. Maybe then we won't be so fearful of those around us because we'll see how truly America is and always has been immigration.

Ten On Tuesdays

Not sure if this came from Charissa or Marie, but nonetheless it makes it easier to write today. Basically its a top ten list of my thoughts for the day.
1. I need to call my super today. My kitchen sink has decided that cold water is not necessary.
2. I am going to Baltimore this weekend to visit Charissa. YEAH!!
3. I went to the ear, nose, and throat doctor yesterday. I have a deviated septum which basically means that colds turn into sinus infections and then decide to hang out with me for weeks. I'm on day 14 and I have to say being sick sucks! The antibiotics did help the ear infection, but I still have some lingering symptoms.
4. The Republican debate is on CNN tonight. As I don't have a TV, I think I might spend the evening at my boyfriend's apartment.
5. Odelle, my boyfriend, is an amazing cook. Since meeting him I have expanded my diet to include Jamaican food such as curry goat- YUM, and my favorite whole fried fish. Basically, the fish is fried whole (head and tail and scales) and you break it in half, pick out the big bones and then eat everything else. The first time I had it, I had to close my eyes before I could eat the eyes, but I have to say, they aren't squishy like you'd think. It's good.
6. I love the Brian Lehrer show. You can subscribe to the program on your ipod and I highly recommend it. It is a WNYC program on my local NPR station. He talks about politics, interviews very interesting people, and basically makes you feel smarter after listening.
7. I took some time off from waiting tables because it was trampling on my creative heart, but I'm not sure I have enough discipline to make really good use of my time.
8. I need to go to the gym today and put in at least an hour. Half an hour on cardio and then half an hour on weight training.
9. I need to get new headshots. Everyone is using color now and I'm still black and white. I hate the expense, but I need to realize that spending money for my career is an investment. Unfortunately, I'm still at heart a girl from Ohio who thinks 125 an hour is too much for a voice lesson and 1000 is too much to have someone take your picture. Jordan Matter is really good though.
10. We really need our government back in the hands of the people. The amount of money being thrown around is disgusting. I believe the Supreme Court was wrong to say money equals speech. That invariably says that some people have more ability for speech than others. Speech is free or at least it should be.

It's hard to write

So, I'm forcing myself to write today in the hope that it will become easier as I go along. I don't really feel like I have anything to say. I started the day watching the second half of PBS's documentary on Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens). This very well may be why I'm having a hard time. He is considered one of the foremost American writers. It's hard to compete with that. Not that I feel I have to compete (and in point of fact it is difficult to directly compete with a dead man), but there is a part of me that thinks what I have to say isn't nearly as important. He had an ability of social commentary in the midst of simple stories. And, he was damn good at it. One thing that struck me though, is the abundance of writing that people accomplished during that time. There were times that he was in the middle of a novel, but still wrote letters to his family and also wrote reflections on his life and writing while doing it. I'm only mildly prolific if you count my emails which are rarely fully developed paragraphs let alone sentences, and my text messages which rarely use punctuation unless of course I'm using the punctuation to send smileys :) And while smileys convey a certain amount of mood context, I think I might be bastardizing the language. So, here in this blog, while I'm "Figuring It Out," I think I might try my best to use punctuation as it was intended and I'll do my best to explain my mood so that I won't be tempted to ;) at you if I'm joking, or :) at you if I'm happy, or :( if I'm sad. In effect, I'll allow the written word to stand up on its own and I'll allow you, the reader to determine my mood and tone.

Flashback Fridays

So I got this idea from my friend Charissa's blog. Basically, I find an old photograph and then tell you about it. And I chose this picture because it is of my dad, whose 70th birthday we celebrated last weekend. Some things to note: it was Christmas Eve 1988 or 89, myUncle Joe is behind the camara, I'm wearing my Dad's hat (I kind of wanted to be Debbie Gibson- now I wouldn't mind being Deborah Gibson, at least then I could be on "the Broadway"), and my sister, Jenny, has her Sally Jessie Raphael glasses on (they are so cool, right?). Christmas Eve we always spent with my dad. My Uncle Joe and Aunt Sally would come up to Ohio from St. Louis and they would take us all out to dinner and then we would open gifts at my dad's house and then go to midnight mass. We all have the biggest smiles and also the biggest laughs. It's something that I've come to admire about my dad. He has never had an easy life; often the troubles have been of his own making and the rest of the time it's really been a case of bad luck. But, through it all he has a joy about him. Maybe it comes from a sense of knowing he is lucky to be alive, but regardless the smiles and the laughter come easy to him. And it's infectious. If he laughs, everyone begins to laugh. That's my dad.