Really?

The media makes me angry. As many of you know, I don't have a TV and unfortunately I arrived home last night at the end of Obama's speech. So, I watched what was left of the speech on the live feed at CNN.com and then attempted to find the speech in it's entirety. It took about 25 minutes for MSNBC.com to post video of the speech, but it was only the first 16 minutes. As I looked for the remainder of the speech I watched a whole host of videos on the convention, including my favorite The Daily Show. There was an overwhelming amount of coverage on the "disenfranchised," "bitter" Hillary Clinton supporters, including the Daily Show which poked fun at this sad state of affairs. It is so unfortunate that at this point we are poised to put a historic, worthy candidate Barack Obama in the White House and we very well may shoot ourselves in the foot with a borrowed gun from the Republicans! Let me say what I think is really happening. First of all, we have lived through two elections where we were cheated by the Republicans. Arguably, you can say that they just played the game better. The Supreme Court gave the 2000 election to Bush and in 2004 while there were election irregularities the election was lost by a combination of a weak Democratic candidate and Rovian tactics and swift boating. All Democrats approached this election believing that we not only had to win, but that we would win. So, what happened? We had two strong, historic, exciting candidates in Clinton and Obama and only one could win. We stood behind our candidate knowing that all we had to do was get through the primaries and then that person would be the next president of the United States. It was so close and passions were so high. Only one could win. And when it was clear that it was Barack Obama, the media played into our wounds of previous elections and equated the dirtiness of the previous two elections with this primary. THEY ARE NOT COMPARABLE!! Those wounds were all of ours. All Democrats felt it. I cried when Kerry lost in 2004 and I didn't really like him all that much. I can only imagine how Hilary's supporter's felt in the loss, especially considering she is a dynamic worthy candidate. But, WAKE UP, people! By feeding into the media's perception that you are still bitter about Hilary's loss, it only makes it easier for all of us to lose. McCain in 2008 is not a viable option for us. He chose a female running mate to try and convince Hilary supporters that he is their man. He is not. We lost a chance to put a woman in the White House, but don't vote for McCain or decide to just not vote out of some misplaced anger at the process. Realize that the next president is poised to nominate 3 Supreme Court Justices. Women have a lot to lose in this election. And women have so much to gain if Barack Obama is elected. Don't allow the media or the Rovian spinsters in the McCain camp play into your disappointment. Enthusiastically get behind Obama.

A Little Help from my Friends!

So I took this really cool seminar about putting my career on the right path by incorporating more business into it. So, I am a brand: Jodi Beck. What does that brand mean to you? And more importantly what characteristics do I share with famous people that I can reference? The people I got in class from people who don't know me are:
Alanis Morissette- her earthiness/ groundedness
Jennifer Garner- who I look like (thanks! she's beautiful)
Toni Collette- her power
Tina Fey- her intelligence
One girl said that I reminded her of a teacher that listens well and is really a cool person to be around. I guess for hanging out with these people in a class for three hours that's a really nice first impression. Some of these suggestions I agree with, some I think could be better. The way the brand works is that I would go to a casting director or agent and say something like, "I'm the beauty of Jennifer Garner, with the comic sensibilities and intelligence of Tina Fey with the power of Toni Collette." Basically, it puts images in their minds and helps them better place me and market me to the world. So, please, Please, PLEASE, those of you that know me tell me who you've always thought I resembled in any way- any part of my character. The more I get the better. I can throw out the ones I'm sure aren't right and maybe get some better analogies.

Oh Lord

I joined Facebook. I have been attempting to not join for the entire time I have had a MySpace page. I don't have time to be hanging out in front of my computer mindlessly wandering from page to page, learning meaningless details about my friends' lives. What did I do all day, you might be wondering? I have been trying to get my page to include everything that my MySpace page does and that takes time and effort. What should I have been doing? I should have been calling cabaret venues for pricing and availability. So, what did I learn today? It's not as easy to stalk people on Facebook, but it sure can eat up your time!

Three and a Half Weeks Ago

WARNING! Rated somewhere between PG-13 and R for violence and language.

I went out for drinks with Mere and Doug in Astoria after work. We started at Bar 36 but quickly moved on to a much better spot called the Brick Cafe. We talked and laughed, drank some beer and had a great time. Doug walked me to my train and Mere and I decided to time how long it took for us to each get home. She was walking quite a few blocks to her apartment and once I got off the train two stops away, I had a walk. It was about 3:15am when I got off the train and started my 15 minute walk home. I texted Mere that it had taken me only 20 minutes from the time we left the bar to my stop- I was super excited that the train came right away at that time in the morning. She had just gotten home. I knew she'd make it before me. As I walked down the garden pathway to my apartment and turned left toward my doorway, I reached into my bag to get my keys. I opened the first unlocked doorway and thought, "Yay, it's Friday! My Time magazine will be in the mailbox." As I was thinking this and looking at the mailboxes, I saw out of the corner of my eye, a man run up the three stairs to my entryway and open the door. He had no keys in his hand. I said, "You need to ring a buzzer, I'm not letting you in the building." I opened my mailbox, got out my magazine and saw that he had gotten out his phone- a Sidekick. I thought, "Well, he's making an effort." I turned my back to him and he reached around me with his right arm and grabbed me. This spun me around with a ferocity I wasn't aware I had. As I turned I elbowed him in the stomach and said, "You have got to be fucking kidding me." He said (and this was the only time he spoke), "All I want is just your... " (I put the ellipsis here, not for emphasis, but because my adrenaline was so pumped up that I can't really figure out what he said. I initially thought he said shoes, but there was no way that's what he wanted, I was wearing $7 ballet slipper type shoes from Payless). I had started kicking him and punching him and he grabbed both my wrists while I yelled and said just about every swear word I could think of at him. I looked to my right and saw the buzzers for all the apartments. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I'll fucking ring every god damn buzzer in this building." I saw that my elbow was close enough to the buzzers that if I could just lean on them I would ring them all. I lunged toward the wall, but he pulled me away. It was at this moment when I stopped thinking and started screaming HELP at the top of my voice. He freaked out, let me go and ran out the door. I opened the door and screamed out at him, "Fuck you, you Mother Fucker!" I was so angry and scared, I didn't know what to do. I thought, "Where are my keys?" I looked on the floor, I grabbed at my purse and dug through it and then freaked out. I started crying hysterically because I realized without my keys I couldn't get safe. I thought he stole them. I was still in that tiny room unprotected and crumbled up in the corner crying. I dialed Meredith. She picked up and at first thought I was laughing. After I gasped through the story she told me to ring my land lady's bell. I did and as I turned toward the door I saw that I must have put my keys in the door just before he grabbed me. I ran upstairs, hung up with Mere and dialed 911. I had to recount the story to the dispatcher, then when the police arrived (less than five minutes later) I had to recount the story again. They took the description- young (less than 25, I'd put him at 21), 5' 9", Hispanic, light brown skin, blue jeans, white shirt and red baseball cap- pretty non-descript clothing. They said they would look around, but it had been at least 15 minutes since it had happened. They didn't come back. Meredith had gotten in a taxi and was there shortly after. I recounted the story to her and we tried to go to sleep. Needless to say I couldn't sleep and my tossing and turning wasn't helping her at all, plus it was the hottest night of the summer. She left in the morning after OB called when he saw all my missed calls and text messages. He came over right then to get me. He let me cry on his shoulder and then put me to bed at his apartment with the air conditioning on while he made me soup. I had bought tickets for us to see A Catered Affair that night, so he let me sleep (still not great sleep) until about 530 and then we ate our wonderful soup and went to the show. It wasn't the best show in the world, but we had a good time and then we headed to one of my favorite bars in midtown- Kemia Bar and we had such a fabulous time I was able to let go and forget about everything. It was the wonderful ending to a horrible day. After filing a report with the police department I was contacted by a Detective who informed me that the incident was considered "harassment"- a misdemeanor. This is for several reasons, but mostly because I fought him off and I wasn't hurt. I was also informed that I could look at mug shots, but that there would be over a thousand from my precinct and the two closest precincts using my description of him. I let it go. I only told my mom and left it to her to tell other people in my family because I was over telling it and I didn't want people to make a big fuss. That's why I never wrote about it and I think why I've had such a hard time writing the last few weeks. This incident consumes my thoughts on my walk home (less and less as the days go by, though) and so when I sit in front of the computer I can't write. I'm kind of tired of it, really. I figured writing it out might help and it might let women know they have the power to fight back. I knew I was a fighter, but I wasn't aware that I would act so instinctively. The only thing I ask of you all reading this is, if you comment, please do not talk about "what-ifs" and "might have beens." It's hard enough the way it actually happened, I don't need help imagining what could have happened. It has made me more aware of my surroundings and so, unfortunately, has taken away the time I had enjoyed with myself and my thoughts on my walk home. The first few times coming home were tough, but it's gotten easier. I'm not sleeping well, but my stress has always come out when I sleep. Hopefully that will ease over time too. And, please, no pity. I'm fine, if there is anyone to worry about, it's the boy who did this. I wonder about him a lot- what kind of life he might have if at such a young age he's doing what he did to me? Hopefully, whatever this was was the first time he had ever done anything like it and he took the hint that he's not very good at it. You can't target a girl in a super cute dress at 330 in the morning just because you think she won't fight back. But, thanks to him I got a reminder to never be the girl in the super cute dress coming home drunk because I wouldn't have done so well.

Sorry

It's been over a week since I blogged. I realized last week what it was. There is a story that I didn't want to share, but I have realized that it is important to talk about. I obviously have been putting it off. And here's to a bit more procrastination, I need to go to bed so it will have to wait another day. Hope you are all still out there, I have not abandoned you!

Moving slowly

So, I just got out of bed. Yesterday was a marathon. I worked setting up a trade show from 8am to 4pm and then I had to literally run across town, from 11th Ave and 37th street to Times Square (42 and 7th Ave), and then onto the shuttle to Grand Central (a short stop at a convenient store in GC where a Naked juice cost $5.79- Ouch!) and then to bartending from 430 to 1030. Mere met me at my bar and we went to a pub for drinks. We had a few Guinness and then I realized after eating an entire basket of stale pretzels that I really did not eat enough food and I had to eat or I might die. So in perfect Mere and Jodi fashion we walked from 42 and Vanderbilt all the way up to 60th and 2nd Ave. I was so hungry when I got there I could barely think. I had a bacon cheeseburger- yep, sure sign that I might be a little tipsy and starving, I eat the worst thing I can think of and finish every last fry. And to any who might be worrying I took a taxi home and then ran from the taxi into my apartment.
Food List for Friday
1. Latte
2. Cup of Coffee with just milk
3. Sausage, Egg and cheese on a whole wheat bagel
4. Apple
5. Peanut M&M's (I bought them on the train a few days before from the cutest little boy- thank God I found them in my bag as I ran across town!)
6. Blue Machine Naked juice- Yum
7. A tiny piece of pizza from my bar- we give free pizza to bar customers (and hungry bartenders!)
8. Fruit Tart
9. 3 Guinness
10. Basket of stale pretzels (I did share with Mere and Rebecca!)
11. Bacon Cheeseburger and fries!
I'm thinking about detoxing!

UM...

It's August, in case you weren't aware. Where does time go? And why does it seem to move so much more quickly in warm weather? If you're in NYC or the surrounding area for the rest of the summer check out Time Out New York's "25 outdoor things to do before summer ends."
And even if you're not here, modify the fabulous ideas and get out there and enjoy the rest of the summer! I am hoping that I can work out the hot air balloon ride, boating in Central Park, Yoga outside (there is also Tai Chi in Bryant Park in the mornings that I want to try) and the rafting down the Delaware. Those sound like the most fun to me!