Happy Blogging Anniversary to me...
I love birthdays and anniversaries and just about any reason to celebrate the joys of life, but I have not been very keen on this one. I set out a year ago to "figure it out" and I haven't. I guess I knew then that I wouldn't have it figured out and that's why I called my blog "Figuring it out." I must congratulate myself on my foresight. So, here we come to what I have figured and what I still have to figure.
Lately, it has been difficult for me to write how I am feeling and what I am thinking. Hence, the reason why my anniversary blog is a week late. I am generally a positive, optimistic person and I don't feel that way at the moment. It will pass, but as I am going through a rough time at the exact moment that I am calling myself to reflect on a year gone by I know that I will be far too hard on myself. I chose a tough path for myself, but it is becoming clearer to me exactly how tough it truly is. OK, I need to stop talking about this, because it's turning into a pity party for myself and we all deserve better writing than that!
I see life as a collection of perceptions. The only thing that has the potential to be truly known and not perceived is the self. And that, of course, is only true if you take the time to know your own mind. I know it sounds like an ego trip, but I think it's true. All that you think you know of others and situations is only a perception. You could never be granted the access into others' minds that you have with your own. The beauty of life is that the relationships that we cultivate tend to bring us to a closer understanding of ourselves and one another. We just have to open our hearts.
Repeated rejection hurts. It has the ability to crack the hardest of us and weaken our resolve. When I meet for lunch with friends of mine (who are usually in the business) it is a common refrain of mine to end with a hug and "we need to take care of each other." I truly believe it's the only way to defeat the hurt. We all should spend a little more time lifting each other up rather than pointing out flaws. It's something I have to remind myself of when I am feeling low. You can dwell on the negative and get nowhere or live in the positive and move forward. (In case you hadn't realized I am writing this as a mantra to myself, but you can use it if it helps!) I know it's cliche, but the Golden Rule really does apply. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
In case you didn't know Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, and Mark Twain were geniuses. In perfect Internet fashion all were attributed with the following quote. "Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." Probably, none of them said it, but it always does bolster your point when you can attribute your thoughts to a genius. I feel a bit crazy lately and I will tell you that it comes directly from almost two years of approaching my career in the same way, not getting what I want and continuing the same process hoping that something will change. Only I can change. Change is hard for me. I sit on the fence far more often than I even like to admit to myself.
I erased my Sitemeter on this blog. I realized that tracking my hits was as crazy as following people on MySpace. It is better for us all that it's gone. So, basically, I'm asking that if you visit, leave a comment, even if it's to say hi, or remain anonymous. It's your choice.
I enjoy observing and learning from people. I guess that's what makes me a good actress. Life is a journey that we only have once. I hope to make the most of it, even with its bumps and bruises it is still a fascinating ride. I hope that in the coming year I will find more stories from my life in NYC to share with you as I continue "figuring it out."
Lately, it has been difficult for me to write how I am feeling and what I am thinking. Hence, the reason why my anniversary blog is a week late. I am generally a positive, optimistic person and I don't feel that way at the moment. It will pass, but as I am going through a rough time at the exact moment that I am calling myself to reflect on a year gone by I know that I will be far too hard on myself. I chose a tough path for myself, but it is becoming clearer to me exactly how tough it truly is. OK, I need to stop talking about this, because it's turning into a pity party for myself and we all deserve better writing than that!
I see life as a collection of perceptions. The only thing that has the potential to be truly known and not perceived is the self. And that, of course, is only true if you take the time to know your own mind. I know it sounds like an ego trip, but I think it's true. All that you think you know of others and situations is only a perception. You could never be granted the access into others' minds that you have with your own. The beauty of life is that the relationships that we cultivate tend to bring us to a closer understanding of ourselves and one another. We just have to open our hearts.
Repeated rejection hurts. It has the ability to crack the hardest of us and weaken our resolve. When I meet for lunch with friends of mine (who are usually in the business) it is a common refrain of mine to end with a hug and "we need to take care of each other." I truly believe it's the only way to defeat the hurt. We all should spend a little more time lifting each other up rather than pointing out flaws. It's something I have to remind myself of when I am feeling low. You can dwell on the negative and get nowhere or live in the positive and move forward. (In case you hadn't realized I am writing this as a mantra to myself, but you can use it if it helps!) I know it's cliche, but the Golden Rule really does apply. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
In case you didn't know Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, and Mark Twain were geniuses. In perfect Internet fashion all were attributed with the following quote. "Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." Probably, none of them said it, but it always does bolster your point when you can attribute your thoughts to a genius. I feel a bit crazy lately and I will tell you that it comes directly from almost two years of approaching my career in the same way, not getting what I want and continuing the same process hoping that something will change. Only I can change. Change is hard for me. I sit on the fence far more often than I even like to admit to myself.
I erased my Sitemeter on this blog. I realized that tracking my hits was as crazy as following people on MySpace. It is better for us all that it's gone. So, basically, I'm asking that if you visit, leave a comment, even if it's to say hi, or remain anonymous. It's your choice.
I enjoy observing and learning from people. I guess that's what makes me a good actress. Life is a journey that we only have once. I hope to make the most of it, even with its bumps and bruises it is still a fascinating ride. I hope that in the coming year I will find more stories from my life in NYC to share with you as I continue "figuring it out."
3 comments:
i'm here and still reading :)
I visit every day. I miss you already!
i realize your figuring it out is a journey at least how i am seeing it and when you think you have figured it out there will be more to figure out. ie knowledge is always growing as long as we live Love yah
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