27 Days till 30- 1980

This is the year that my parents divorced. Not that I remember it exactly, but it's one of those times that I have heard told over and over from different perspectives and with different emphasis on the facts that I feel that I have an over-developed sense of what happened. Simply, mom got the house and the kids, dad got a kick in the rear and child support payments, which he didn't always come through with. Now, I am not saying this to bad mouth either of my parents, but to really say that divorce isn't pretty. It surely isn't pretty with four under age children either, it only makes it more complicated. How has this effected my life? Well, I can say that I was probably the least directly effected because I don't remember. I don't feel a sense of loss at not having a dad at home because I don't remember a time when he was. Though, how my father dealt with all of us was directly related to the divorce. He saw us on Sundays and took us to church...
late (most of the time) and got us for two weeks every summer which we spent with my Aunt Betty. It helped me understand obligation in a way that I don't think kids normally feel obligated. I felt obligated to go with my dad on Sundays. But, over time I think this obligation turned into fondness and love (and sometimes pity) for my dad. I wouldn't be me without him. He hasn't always been the easiest person to be around, but he's my dad and there were good times too. But, I look back and thank the heavens that my parents divorced. Not that my opinion would have changed anything then or change the way others think about it now, but I know it was for the best. Understanding this time gives me a sense of where I came from and an idea of how different my life might have been if my mom hadn't come to that decision. I know it couldn't have been easy, but she realized that to take care of all of us she had to first take care of herself. It's a concept I have come to know for myself in the last year. The only person that is going to take care of you, is you. Sometimes you've got to be selfish and make the hard choices. When it's right, you'll know. I know now. I understand more fully now.