Thursday, May 8, 2008
Taking a Break
I am going to take a break from my blog. Probably just a week and I'll be back in enough time to post my first anniversary edition of "Figuring It Out," where I am sure to extol the virtues of a great title. Had I named this blog "Give Me A Year, I'll Figure it Out" I would be kicking myself for the fact that a year has gone by and I feel like I have less figured out than I did last year at this time. Using the present progressive tense of the word 'figure' has helped me immensely as I can continually be figuring. So rest assured the next week will be filled with an immense amount of figuring, just not for you to witness...
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
A Poem
I took a walk today
To clear my head
Of the muddled thoughts inside
The sun warmed my face
The air purified my heart
The wind swept away my doubts
I am whole
I am me.
To clear my head
Of the muddled thoughts inside
The sun warmed my face
The air purified my heart
The wind swept away my doubts
I am whole
I am me.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Ten on Tuesdays
1. I'm not a church person. I once was, but I like going to church in my head rather than as a social event. Not to mention, I'm not sure that my beliefs necessarily jive (yes, I said jive!) with most organized religions. As a New Yorker I have only attended church twice. I attempted to go once for Christmas Eve, but that didn't turn out as I planned. (Read more about that here.)
2. I felt a longing to be in a church today- so this afternoon I headed over to St Pat's on Fifth Ave to be with myself for a time before heading to work.
3. St Pat's is not exactly the most private choice for a church on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, but the wonderful thing is that because of tourists (wearing noisy shoes that flip-flop on the marble floors and taking an extaordinary amount of pictures) it is always available.
4. I was able to clear my head. It's been a tough few weeks (and days) and my mind has been craving a stimulation and a calming greater than I alone could provide.
5. What I love about the feeling of a church is that you know you aren't alone. And I don't mean that as I felt the presence of God (which I have in the past- that was not my truth today, however), but more that people come to church to BELIEVE in something beyond the self. That is what makes me feel good- that I take the time to pray or meditate and find within myself the keys to being better.
6. I really walked into that church wanting someone to tell me everything will work out, but the amazing thing is, the only person there who could convince me of that was me. It will work out because it has to.
7. I love meditation and I need to start doing it more often.
8. That calm place that you go to when meditating would be easier to find on a daily basis if I practiced more often.
9. I have these meditation CDs that I am going to sit with tomorrow.
10. Dad update- Thank you for all your well wishes! He has moved to the rehabilitation center yesterday where he will be for the next 6-8 weeks. I haven't spoken with him since Saturday (work and life got in the way) so I plan on talking with him tomorrow.
2. I felt a longing to be in a church today- so this afternoon I headed over to St Pat's on Fifth Ave to be with myself for a time before heading to work.
3. St Pat's is not exactly the most private choice for a church on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, but the wonderful thing is that because of tourists (wearing noisy shoes that flip-flop on the marble floors and taking an extaordinary amount of pictures) it is always available.
4. I was able to clear my head. It's been a tough few weeks (and days) and my mind has been craving a stimulation and a calming greater than I alone could provide.
5. What I love about the feeling of a church is that you know you aren't alone. And I don't mean that as I felt the presence of God (which I have in the past- that was not my truth today, however), but more that people come to church to BELIEVE in something beyond the self. That is what makes me feel good- that I take the time to pray or meditate and find within myself the keys to being better.
6. I really walked into that church wanting someone to tell me everything will work out, but the amazing thing is, the only person there who could convince me of that was me. It will work out because it has to.
7. I love meditation and I need to start doing it more often.
8. That calm place that you go to when meditating would be easier to find on a daily basis if I practiced more often.
9. I have these meditation CDs that I am going to sit with tomorrow.
10. Dad update- Thank you for all your well wishes! He has moved to the rehabilitation center yesterday where he will be for the next 6-8 weeks. I haven't spoken with him since Saturday (work and life got in the way) so I plan on talking with him tomorrow.
Monday, May 5, 2008
If you ever need encouragement...
My dad has been fighting an antibiotic resistant strain of an infection for over a year. It basically created a hole in his leg and has been the main reason he has moved in and out of the nursing home the last year. The doctors have been worried that the infection would end up in his bone and then be harder to treat. Well, last Friday his leg (from just below the knee) was amputated. I was working and unable to go home which is a regret but when I spoke with him on Saturday he was in amazingly good spirits. Guess I have no room to complain- and the glass is always half full. He reminded me of that.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Happy Birthday Mom!
I have the greatest mom! Check the link to read my previous post about her. It was a series called 30 days to 30. Before I turned thirty I wrote about something in my life for each year I have been alive. I could have written something about my mom for each year- she's that special of a lady. And today is her birthday! I love you mom and I can't wait for your visit in a few weeks. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Ten on Tuesdays
1. I've been disappointed as of late in both my life and the political world unfolding around us. It has been hard to frame my thoughts without being to harsh on myself and others, so I refrained for awhile. Ten on Tuesday gives me a chance to point to those things without getting too emotional about them.
2. I am frustrated with my career. It's hard for me to admit that.
3. I feel like the game is happening on another field and I am a spectator and not a player.
4. It's not as easy as asking the coach to join the team. He demands to see me play first. The only problem is no one is willing to play with me because the coach won't vouch for me.
5. I am similarly frustrated with this absolutely asinine election where we define people by their associations (her husband/his pastor) without getting the whole story.
6. I want us to be better. Why not watch the whole sermon from beginning to end? Why not watch the entire National Press Club speech and questions from beginning to end? Why not watch the Bill Moyers interview with Jeremiah Wright from beginning to end? It is not the time to allow others to draw conclusions, state them as fact and then as a people blindly accept those conclusions as our own. We need to think for ourselves.
7. I am not asking that everyone agree with the statements made by Jeremiah Wright (I certainly don't agree with all of them), but if you watch all three of the previously mentioned videos, you may find yourself nodding in agreement from time to time. You may also find that you are offended, but at least it is you that is offended and not someone telling you you should be.
8. I know that Barack Obama came out again and denounced Jeremiah Wright's statements on Monday, but I don't think even he watched the entire thing. He said "he heard that Wright had given "a performance" and when he watched news accounts, he realized that it [was] more than just a case of the former pastor defending himself." (AP) I think it is sad that Obama clearly didn't watch the entire thing before commenting. For all the theatrics in the Reverend's statements there was a lot of value in his opening argument (what I heard and came away with from that portion was of a Black church focused on "liberation, transformation, and reconciliation." Nothing wrong with that. It was later during a string of questions and answers where we got the stranger side. Of course the media edited the material down to soundbites for the newscasts- that's how this whole thing began. And when you watch the entire thing you'll notice the first person to roll their eyes is the woman asking the questions.
9. I think I saw Cornel West in the audience at the National Press Club.
10. In my college philosophy class we read Cornel West's Race Matters. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.
2. I am frustrated with my career. It's hard for me to admit that.
3. I feel like the game is happening on another field and I am a spectator and not a player.
4. It's not as easy as asking the coach to join the team. He demands to see me play first. The only problem is no one is willing to play with me because the coach won't vouch for me.
5. I am similarly frustrated with this absolutely asinine election where we define people by their associations (her husband/his pastor) without getting the whole story.
6. I want us to be better. Why not watch the whole sermon from beginning to end? Why not watch the entire National Press Club speech and questions from beginning to end? Why not watch the Bill Moyers interview with Jeremiah Wright from beginning to end? It is not the time to allow others to draw conclusions, state them as fact and then as a people blindly accept those conclusions as our own. We need to think for ourselves.
7. I am not asking that everyone agree with the statements made by Jeremiah Wright (I certainly don't agree with all of them), but if you watch all three of the previously mentioned videos, you may find yourself nodding in agreement from time to time. You may also find that you are offended, but at least it is you that is offended and not someone telling you you should be.
8. I know that Barack Obama came out again and denounced Jeremiah Wright's statements on Monday, but I don't think even he watched the entire thing. He said "he heard that Wright had given "a performance" and when he watched news accounts, he realized that it [was] more than just a case of the former pastor defending himself." (AP) I think it is sad that Obama clearly didn't watch the entire thing before commenting. For all the theatrics in the Reverend's statements there was a lot of value in his opening argument (what I heard and came away with from that portion was of a Black church focused on "liberation, transformation, and reconciliation." Nothing wrong with that. It was later during a string of questions and answers where we got the stranger side. Of course the media edited the material down to soundbites for the newscasts- that's how this whole thing began. And when you watch the entire thing you'll notice the first person to roll their eyes is the woman asking the questions.
9. I think I saw Cornel West in the audience at the National Press Club.
10. In my college philosophy class we read Cornel West's Race Matters. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
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