Ten on Tuesdays

1. I'm not a church person. I once was, but I like going to church in my head rather than as a social event. Not to mention, I'm not sure that my beliefs necessarily jive (yes, I said jive!) with most organized religions. As a New Yorker I have only attended church twice. I attempted to go once for Christmas Eve, but that didn't turn out as I planned. (Read more about that here.)
2. I felt a longing to be in a church today- so this afternoon I headed over to St Pat's on Fifth Ave to be with myself for a time before heading to work.
3. St Pat's is not exactly the most private choice for a church on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, but the wonderful thing is that because of tourists (wearing noisy shoes that flip-flop on the marble floors and taking an extaordinary amount of pictures) it is always available.
4. I was able to clear my head. It's been a tough few weeks (and days) and my mind has been craving a stimulation and a calming greater than I alone could provide.
5. What I love about the feeling of a church is that you know you aren't alone. And I don't mean that as I felt the presence of God (which I have in the past- that was not my truth today, however), but more that people come to church to BELIEVE in something beyond the self. That is what makes me feel good- that I take the time to pray or meditate and find within myself the keys to being better.
6. I really walked into that church wanting someone to tell me everything will work out, but the amazing thing is, the only person there who could convince me of that was me. It will work out because it has to.
7. I love meditation and I need to start doing it more often.
8. That calm place that you go to when meditating would be easier to find on a daily basis if I practiced more often.
9. I have these meditation CDs that I am going to sit with tomorrow.
10. Dad update- Thank you for all your well wishes! He has moved to the rehabilitation center yesterday where he will be for the next 6-8 weeks. I haven't spoken with him since Saturday (work and life got in the way) so I plan on talking with him tomorrow.