20 Days to 30- 1987

So this is the year we went from five members of the family at home to four. It was the first big shift in the family home since my dad left. And it didn't happen in the best of ways. This is also one of those things that everyone remembers differently. This is my blog, hence my memory. I remember some arguments between my mom and my brother about varying topics including school, work, and chores. Mom's rule was you could live at home rent free as long as you were going to school full time. It also meant that your chores didn't go away just because you were in college. Not much changed in that department over the years and I was given the same rules as everyone else. Jim's weekly chore was always mowing the lawn. I remember what I think was the final argument between them very well. Jim had told me that he thought mom was going to kick him out and I of course didn't want that to happen. I think it's probably typical for the youngest to have a hard time with change in the family dynamic, but over time it became easier for me because from this point it was always changing. And as a nine year old I don't think I quite understood. I sat at the top of the basement stairs with the stair light off. Mom and Jim were at the bottom of the stairs arguing about the chores and about school. I remember being frightened because they were both very upset. He raised his hand to her and she put her finger to his face and said don't you even think about it. Looking back I think it was an awfully brave thing to do considering Jim is 6'3" and mom was 5'3". I also had never thought about that part of his personality, because he never acted that way toward me, but it was obvious that he had lost his temper. Mom stopped him before he could make a big mistake, but she also ended it. He had to leave. I love them both so much and I know that it was a difficult time for them. I think that it is even difficult now. Basically, I learned that there are consequences to your actions. And the one person you have to follow through with is your mom. She has always been really aware of what she expects of us and whether or not we come through. She'll call you out, it's kind of her job. "While you're under my roof,....."