17 Days till 30- 1990

There was a secret in our family, and the secret was being kept from me. I knew it and I hated it. I remember conversations that would end when I came into the room and I remember being very upset that Barb was in on the secret and I wasn't. Now, I loved Barb, but it seemed unfair that my brother's fiance was allowed in, but I, who had been a part of the family since my birth was not. The worst part about it was that I knew the secret, but I just couldn't be positive because no one had told me. My brother John was gay. Now how I came to this conclusion I'm not sure, but I was a smart kid and I'm sure that I could figure out that he brought boys home to meet the family and not girls. So, while watching Dan Rather's 48 Hours which happened to be about some gay topic with my mom and sister, I finally put it all together and asked my mom, "Is John gay?" And what is the worst response a 12 year old could hear came out of my mom's mouth. See, she was studying to be a therapist and I don't think she was talking like a mom. She said, "Now, Jodi, that's something you should speak to your brother about." How awful! John was living with dad at the time and so the next Sunday I went to him and said hey, so mom told me I had to ask you if you were gay. He laughed at her silliness and said yes. Thus, the end of the secret, but the beginning of mom taking us to her class to discuss our feelings about it....