New Headshots!

So I haven't gotten them developed and I haven't had them retouched but these are my choices for my new headshots. Thanks to everyone who put in their two cents. I forgot to mention- Photography by Jordan Matter. Please visit his website, it's got great pictures and it's actually a pretty good read!

This will be my main headshot. I think it says "Hire me!" without begging too much!

This will be my "I can sell anything" shot.

This is my "I'm intense, hire me to do your intense movie" shot.

This is what I want my postcard to look like. It's a reminder to the people who have called me back or to those I want to call me back. It says, "Remember me? I'm that strangely beautiful, yet fun girl that you mean to hire!"

Mere just suggested that I get that printed on the postcard. I am thinking about it...

My brother John

As many of you know, my brother John has a blog and for my birthday he wrote a piece just for me. You can read it here. And just in case you don't read it I will post the picture he posted with it because I love it so much! I don't have any pictures with me and just my brothers, so this one is kind of cool and unique. It was taken at church during my sister Jenny's First Holy Communion. I would like to add a funny little note to what he said. I remember that John bought me Berstain Bear's and Telling the Truth book for Christmas when I was in first grade. Now I can see that he was really just trying to get me to keep my mouth shut! And by the way, I'm not sure how much of a tattle tale I was, from my perspective I was just telling it like it was...

I am 30

I began a new decade yesterday. I'm 30 and excited! Happy Birthday to me!!

A New Day

I am officially a Beck again.

And to quote from one of my favorite books Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery, "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it."

1 Day till 30- 2006

I grew up and decided that I would be a participant in my life. I was no longer going to let things happen to me or around me, but I would take an active role in shaping my life the way that I wanted it to look. I sought out an opportunity to get my Equity Card and I went and got it. Actually, Jazmin's mom had a lot to do with it! I was in Florida (at a different theatre outside Tampa) playing Meg in Brigadoon. I had auditioned for Porthouse while I was in Ohio just after New Year's. Terri Kent (who was a friend and mentor) wanted to call me back for Joan in Dames at Sea. The problem was that the callback was Sunday and I was doing two shows that day. I figured that I could make it to Ohio for the callbacks on Monday, but I would have to leave Tampa Sunday night right after the show and then come back Tuesday night in time for the show Wednesday morning. So, in a furry I began to look for flights with only a week to find one. It was spring break and I was in Florida so everything I found was super expensive. I spoke to Jazmin about the problem and her mom booked me on a buddy pass (which means that I would be flying standby), but it would be only 80 bucks. The problem came when she realized that the flight from Tampa to Atlanta was oversold. Basically that meant that there was no chance that I would get to Atlanta to catch my connecting flight to Cleveland. Lucky for me one of the girls in the cast was driving to Macon, Georgia to visit her parents. Zack, another friend in the cast had some friends in Atlanta that were going to come to Macon and pick him up to hang out. I tagged along for the ride and they dropped me off at the airport at midnight. I was going to stay over night in the airport so that I didn't have to inconvenience anyone else to get me there. I figured, I'm a free spirit I can sleep in an airport. WRONG! I slept fitfully the entire night worried that I was a single woman hanging out in a huge airport. I had visions of the movie Adventures in Babysitting when Chris's best friend Brenda is in the bus station all alone and scared with weird people all around her. But, I made the flight and was on my way to my Equity card! I landed the role and my first Equity contract! It also meant that I would be in Ohio close to my family.
I came to a point where I realized putting off the inevitable does nothing but make your stomach hurt and I was tired of trying to make everything okay, when it was not. When I got home at the end of July I packed my things, found a beautiful one bedroom apartment in Jackson Heights and began my life as a single woman...

2 Days till 30- 2005

I gave myself acid reflux. I had a decision to make and I didn't have any idea how to go about it. It consumed me the majority of this year. I am a problem solver by nature, but I had come to a place where the problem to be solved was not mine alone, but the decision to solve it had become mine. It was a lonely place to be. Lucky for me I had wonderful success in theatre this year. Beginning in May I worked almost straight through to the end of the year. I met some amazing people during my travels and once again learned a tremendous amount about myself. I played Laverne in Sisters of Swing upstate New York near Lake Canandagua. It was a beautiful place to spend the early part of the summer. It was the first time that I had ever lived with a host family. I had my own room in this beautiful pre- Civil War home. It sat on the edge of town right next to a winery and I would wake up early in the morning to jog past all the grape vines. It was good to clear my head and begin my day like this. I came home for a month and then set off for Florida to do La Mancha again and a Christmas show. This was a crazy time that was a ton of fun, but with its own set of obstacles. We had two people leave the cast of La Mancha within the first two weeks of opening and then we had Hurricane Wilma. The apartment that I was in lost power for over a week. We spent that time all crammed into the few apartments that did have electricity. In crazy times there is an opportunity to bond with those around you and that's exactly what happened. Karrah Tines and I became great friends and we had such a great time together. I was spending Christmas away from my family so it was important that I had the support of good friends around me. We had two sold out shows on Christmas day and then we packed up to leave the next morning. I was heading to Ohio to be with my family. The new year came without the problem being solved, but I was closer to making a choice...

3 Days till 30- 2004

It was the morning of November 3rd and I was crying. John Kerry had lost the election. I was working in Florida doing Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (it was the first time I had voted with an absentee ballot). The owners of the theatre I worked for were contributors to the Democratic party and I had been invited to see John Edwards speak that summer at a breakfast fundraiser for John Kerry (Kerry was the obvious Democratic nominee, but before John Edwards was chosen as the Vice Presidential candidate) and then later I saw Edwards as the official VP candidate at a big rally in Ft Myers. I also worked for the campaign a few times on my day off. I had participated for the first time at a level beyond just voting and sharing my opinion. It was crushing to know that morning that George W. Bush would be the president for another 4 years. Honestly, I was in shock. I sat out on the porch of the cast apartment with Leann (who was playing Millie in the show) and I just couldn't stop crying. Really, I was disappointed that it wasn't obvious to more people that we were on the wrong path. I firmly believe that no matter what party you are in, you really do want what you believe to be the best for the country. I can't fault anyone for that, but I couldn't understand how so many people chose George Bush. And more importantly I couldn't understand how people chose not to vote (just under 40% of eligible population)at a time when our soldiers were dying in a foreign country. We were at war and often the only voice we have is our vote. To borrow the mantra of the 1980's fight against AIDS,

Silence= Death

US fatalities since November 2004= 2741

How can you chose not to vote no matter which party you vote for?

That's why I was crying that morning, I lost some of my faith in my fellow Americans.