Figuring It Out

The Postcard arrived!!!!

2009-08-05T10:55:00.003-04:00

The Front!

The Back!
Are you coming???

My Cabaret Postcard!!!

2009-07-25T17:42:00.003-04:00

This is the front of the post card!!! Yay! I am getting excited for the show. Please tell your friends and bring them!!

My 2nd Cabaret

2009-07-14T14:07:00.003-04:00

I know I haven't blogged in forever, but here I am! Just wanted to announce my 2nd cabaret at Don't Tell Mama's in NYC will be at 8pm on Saturday August 22! I have a few treats in store for you! My friends Shoshanna Richman and Charissa Costa will be joining me on 3 Andrew's Sisters songs. I am sure it will be a great night of live entertainment, drinking and general revelry! Just a reminder there is a two drink minimum (doesn't have to be alcohol) and a $10 cover! Can't wait to see you all in August!

Also, look here on my blog for any updates!! My website is up and running but I lost my hard drive and all my files that I made the site with. (You know how people always tell you to back up your hard drive and you don't cause you think I don't have that much stuff and my computer isn't old? Well, listen to them. Once a day I remember something else I don't have because I didn't back up my files.) If anyone knows how to reconstruct a website using the html from the site and plugging it back into Microsoft Publisher I would love the help? Oh, and there's the small problem of my new computer not coming with any valuable Microsoft programs like Publisher or Word. It came with f%$king Microsoft Works. Nobody has used that program for 15 years!! UGH!

"I love Jesus, but I drink a little"

2009-02-10T23:58:00.001-05:00

I know it's kind of lame that this is my first post back, but this made me laugh my ass off!

New Year's Resolution

2009-01-15T13:03:00.001-05:00

Guess it's obvious that I didn't make blogging more regularly my New Year's Resolution. I have two tags I need to take care of (thanks Cassie!) and I have a ton of photos to post. So do not worry my faithful friends I shall be back blogging!

Ten on Tuesday

2008-12-09T23:56:00.000-05:00

1. A recession is the perfect time to rediscover the library! I just checked out My Jesus Year, and already one chapter in I'm enjoying myself. And it's free!
2. I need to do laundry- tomorrow morning!
3. I love my iPhone. It is the coolest invention! And the best birthday gift!
4. I looked at the weather in Jamaica on a whim yesterday- It's been sooooo cold lately and it was 77 degrees there at 1230am. I wish I was there.
5. I am starting to have anxiety about coming up with a New Year's Resolution.
6. Uncle Joe and Aunt Sally were in town and we had breakfast together yesterday and lunch today! It is really nice to have family visit.
7. It is two weeks and a two days till Christmas!
8. I think I'm getting a Christmas tree this weekend.
9. I was so busy around my birthday that I never blogged about where OB took me to dinner. It was Ninja and it was the BEST restaurant ever!!! We had such a great time that night! Please check out the website- basically all the food are art pieces!
10. OB is my favorite.

The Making of: It's My Party! A Cabaret Debut

2008-11-29T11:48:00.010-05:00

****I was asked to write a blog for the Savvy Actor on how I created, produced and starred in my own show!****

The idea of me doing my own show has had many incarnations, but the final version of it that was presented on November 22 and 23, 2008 at Don't Tell Mama in NYC came to be because I finally decided talking about doing a show was not the same as doing one. When I was non-union finding work came very easily to me. After I got my Equity card, reality set in and I realized that finding work was not at all the same as before. I took classes to fill the void of not being onstage, but I knew that there was nothing to replace the feeling of an opening night and all the work, sweat and tears that it entails. I knew if I couldn't get cast in something I would have to create my own opportunity. Easier said than done. It took me a good six months to get out of my own way. The excuses were endless and mostly occurring in my own head. "I don't have the money for a music director. I play characters in theatre, what do I personally have to offer an audience? I'm not from New York, I'll never fill a theatre." And of course, the routine actor's dilemma: "Am I good enough?" This last one is most interesting to me because of how most of us get over that fear to do theatre. At least for me, that fear diminishes with the casting process. Someone believes in you enough to cast you and the fear recedes. You put on a costume and a new persona and the fear recedes further. With your own show, you are saying I trust myself enough to know that I can do this. The success or failure is on you.

My mom taught me that facing your fears and often doing that which you fear is the only way of overcoming it. So, with the help of my friend and music director Doug Silver I began to put together songs for a cabaret. Doug was very pragmatic and told me early on (after probably a year of stops and starts) that I had to set a date for the show. We had to know what we were working toward. I thought about it for what seemed like weeks and finally determined that the show needed to occur around my birthday. This turned out to be the best idea for my own sanity because I love birthdays and no matter how nervous I got for the show, I had a party to plan! So, Doug and I worked all summer coming together with songs we enjoyed and learning them, changing keys, and arranging them. The thing I was most worried about was not the singing, but the talking or patter in between songs. Doug suggested that by the end of August we should have an evening at his apartment for a few of my friends and his friend, Andrew Frank who ended up becoming my director. This evening succeeded in two ways. First, it gave me ideas for how to introduce songs. Second, it made Doug and I realize which songs worked for us and which didn't. With two and a half months until my birthday, the real journey began. The week following the first presentation, we threw out at least a quarter of the songs that we had originally chosen. Those were quickly replaced by songs which worked better in the evening. Andrew had said that the ballads that I had previously chosen were "pity me" type songs and we all realized that a cabaret entitled, It's My Party! really shouldn't take the audience there. (Don't worry, we've saved those songs for a future cabaret: Jaded in New York F*&king City)!

So as Doug and I worked weekly on the material I began the footwork of finding a place to host the show. I began making calls to cabaret venues all over the city. Often, the websites of these venues provide little information for a first timer like me and I had many questions. I figured that if I called, left a delightful message about my show and how excited I was that people would be crawling all over each other to call me back. Not so. I waited a week for one return phone call and none came. What could I be doing wrong? I called back and waited again. Nothing. So, I decided to personally visit each venue to see what really would work for me. I highly recommend doing this. One place that I was absolutely positive I had to have my show ended up having two of the snottiest people at the door. This also gave me a smaller list of places to focus on. At Dillon's I ran into the restaurant manager that took a half hour to explain to me how the business of cabaret works. It was exceptionally nice of him and considering the welcome I got at some other places in the city, this Midwest girl could really appreciate it! I realized then that the booking agents for the venues are busy people, barraged by singers trying to get a space. Just like a casting director takes a risk by calling back an unsigned actor, so too, a booking agent takes a risk by reserving space for an unknown act. So, in either case the only choice for the actor is to "bring it!" Many of the websites ask for a demo and a press packet which you send in and wait for a response. I already knew what I was going to do. Doug and I recorded three songs that we thought showcased the diversity of my show and I made copies and walked those Cd's to the four venues at which I wanted to perform. When I walked into Don't Tell Mama with my Cd (including a self designed Cd jacket with my business card included), Sidney Myer, the booking agent was there. I handed him my Cd, he looked at my business card on the front and said, "Jodi Beck. You're on my list of people to call." He had been so busy and he thanked me for the Cd and promised to call me that evening. And he did! I met with him for an hour meeting the following week where I reserved my dates and times and he and I talked and got to know one another. He is a wealth of information and has been in this business for a long time. He schedules an hour with each act that comes to Don't Tell Mama and it is invaluable for a first timer. Any chance that you have to get to know the space and people you are working with is beneficial. Here we worked out the details of the contract. You have to know the running time of your show at this point because the cost of the room is determined by the show length. Also written into the contract is two hours of rehearsal time in the space. For me, I got four hours because I was scheduled in both rooms. There is also one hour of free tech rehearsal with the technical director. He also went through the ways in which I could market the show. It was all my responsibility. Everyone makes a postcard and puts it in the rack, but I knew that to fill the seats I'd have to work harder than that. I used U-Printing. I had ideas for my postcard and I knew I could save money by designing it myself. U-Printing offers an online design tool that you can upload and arrange your own images to create your own postcard. As I had never done any graphic design previously, the staff of U-Printing was extremely helpful. I talked to them both through online chat and over the phone and they were very knowledgeable. Also, 200 postcards including the design and shipping cost only $99.98. It was also around this time that I was career coaching with Jodie Bentley at the Sa vvy Actor. She suggested that I add an event to both Myspace and Facebook to get the word out. I also added a the postcard and link to Don't Tell Mama on my website. And as I am trying to get an agent we decided that week three of my mailing schedule would include my postcard and an invitation to the show. I also set an email to everyone in my address book and invited them all with an evite. Friends and family were the bulk of the audience, but to make sure they take the show seriously and actually show up, they need to be marketed to as well. I also made sure I carried my postcards with me everywhere I went including my day job! Three couples who are regulars at my bar came to the show! I gave postcards to my boyfriend and to my best friend (both not in the business) for them to hand out at their jobs. I also emailed Time Out New York at cabaret@timeoutny.com (contact: Adam Feldman) to be included in their listings both online and in print. I also left my postcards at the counter of my favorite coffee shop in my neighborhood!

As the show neared Doug and I met twice a week with Andrew popping in to offer advice and to direct some of the character numbers. It was essential for me to surround myself with professionals who approached my show as an artistic creation. As my name was announced and I walked to the stage, my fears left my mind. I had a job to do. I had gotten over 65 people into the seats over two days and all I had left to do was the one thing I enjoy more than anything else- entertain them. Knowing all the work that went into it as I stepped in front of that mic was icing on the cake! And it was the best birthday present I've ever gotten!

Helpful Links:
The Savvy Actor
Time Out New York
U-Printing
Don't Tell Mama
Cabaret Scenes
Cabaret Hotline Online (click the Tips and FAQ's link)
My Website- Jodi Beck
Creators on Creating
Performing Arts Library
Evite

The New Christmas Tradition

2008-11-28T23:38:00.004-05:00

Today was the official start of the American Christmas shopping season. I am assuming that other countries follow suit, but as Black Friday comes after Thanksgiving, a fully American holiday, I can only guess that Black Friday only exists here too. As our economy falters and more and more Americans stand in line for soup kitchens, an employee of WalMart in Long Island, NY was trampled to death as a mob broke down the door to the store and pushed and clawed its way to a sale on cheap plastic junk that has somehow come to define us and a holiday. It has come to define us because we have somehow lost ourselves in all that we consume and have made this holiday all about what we get rather than what we give. And you didn't have to be in this WalMart and part of this crowd to be part of the problem. Hopefully over the coming years as we realign our pocketbooks and our priorities, we will again be able to see the difference between need and want. People stand in soup kitchen lines because of need. People wait in lines outside of stores on the morning of Black Friday for nothing but desire and greed. That is disgusting and that is what our celebration of Christmas looks like.
So, in remembrance of Jdimytai Damour, I propose a New American Christmas Tradition. Christmas is about giving not receiving, but because we buy gifts for each other we always end up receiving. It's hard to not get excited about that gift you get to open on Christmas morning. But, this Christmas, instead of asking for material things or sending out a child's Christmas wishlist, why not send a list of charities that you want the money that would have been spent on you to go to. It can be donated in your name. And maybe someone who finds himself in line at the soup kitchen will get a blanket or clothing that he needs this Christmas. That someone who has less than I receives something I take for granted, would be gift enough for me.

My Very Own Show!!!

2008-11-25T00:35:00.003-05:00

I will post more as I get them, but I was soooooo excited that my dear, dear friend Charissa posted these to Youtube!! Rissa, you are the absolute best and I thank you from the bottom of heart for coming to see me in my New York City Cabaret Debut! (Wow! that feels really cool to say!) The following songs were performed at Don't Tell Mama on November 22 by yours truly and my fabulous music director and friend, Doug Silver! Enjoy!

Three Little Birds by Bob Marley

NYU from Greenwich Village Follies by Doug Silver and Andrew Frank

14G by Jeanine Tesori and Dick Scanlan

Simple Wish by David Friedman

Ten on Tuesday!- Birthday Edition

2008-11-18T23:35:00.000-05:00

1. It was my birthday today! Thank you to everyone who called, emailed, Facebooked and generally made me feel special today!
2. I wanted to get a massage today, but alas they didn't have time to fit me in- that was a first! I shall try again tomorrow.
3. Joanne took me to an impromptu lunch at Republic because my previous lunch date cancelled because of the flu. (I hope you feel better, Jaz!!!!) It was great of Joanne to come to the city just so I wouldn't have to have lunch alone!
4. As my family is SUPER competitive, the first person to call me today to wish me Happy Birthday was......

DRUMROLL...

....

O'Delle! He called just after 7am and sang to me!
5. Jenny was the first sibling, followed by Jimmy and then John.
6. Dad called last night a little confused about the date!
7. I am so excited about my show this weekend!
8. Two married couples that are regulars at my bar have already made reservations and are coming- I think that's super cool!
9. Rissa's coming from Baltimore, Jim is coming from DC and John and Steve are coming from Chicago.
10. My mom isn't gonna be able to make it. She fell at work two weeks ago and broke her right shoulder and chipped her kneecap. So, it just means that I'll have to do this again soon so she can come! (BTW- does anyone who is coming have a video camera? I would love to record it for mom and it would be cool to add clips to my website!)
11. (I know Ten on Tuesday, but it's my birthday, so I'm adding a bonus round!) I'm listed in Time Out New York this week!!!

Congratulations, America!

2008-11-05T15:25:00.002-05:00

Here's to a new day and a renewed chance for peace and prosperity!

Love This!

2008-10-31T01:21:00.004-04:00

I wish my family debated politics with a song and a dance! But, regardless of how we debate it, "You can vote however you like!"

How I Spent My Weekend

2008-10-21T13:29:00.005-04:00

I, an "Eastern elitist" from the "fake America (thank you Jon Stewart)" part of America, traveled back to my place of birth, Ohio, to do a little campaigning for Barack Obama. Now, I have lived in NYC for over seven years and I am struck by how much I have changed when I go home. I don't fit there anymore. Yes, my family welcomes me "home" with open arms and I love the autumn in Ohio, but I really am a ~~city girl~~ fake American through and through. Lucky for me I may have a driver's license from my fake state but I have a passport issued by the real America so traveling to this other country was a snap! Now, I'm not sure how it happened, but while I knocked on doors with my sister and two nephews (fake Americans misplaced in real America), the majority of people we canvassed from small town Brimfield/Suffield said they were leaning Obama or voting for him. There were a few still undecided voters whose reasons ranged from "voting for the lessor of two evils" (which I can completely understand considering politicians' pandering and then not doing anything they say when they get into office) to "personal reasons." We had a few polite "we're voting for McCain" people and then we had the door slams and my personal favorite "We're voting for the other, I mean the good guy!" promptly followed by a door closing in our faces. I wasn't aware until then that we were playing cops and robbers!

Sorry to my friends- I didn't get my flight until Wednesday and I was campaigning all day Saturday and Sunday so I didn't have any time for visits.

Nice! If I do say so myself!

2008-10-17T01:00:00.003-04:00

Well, here's my postcard! I designed it myself- even down to the stick figures which I drew! I realize that I'm patting myself on the back, but I didn't know how to use Photoshop at all before I started this. I will be getting these in the mail next week to agents and casting directors and to all the fabulous people I hope will be able to come and celebrate my birthday with me!

This is the front:

This is the back:

Rednecks for Obama!!!!

2008-10-11T17:08:00.005-04:00

I started to read about the "Bradley effect," my mom told me about some people that she had spoken to in Ohio who she thought were probably prejudiced, and all the racist and xenophobic stuff coming from the other side and I was getting scared. This video clip featuring Rednecks for Obama made me happy and feel positive about the campaign and about the rural areas of America. Yes, we know there are racist people out there, but there are also people who are trying to make a difference! When you think you have encountered someone who might not vote for Obama because he's not like them, direct them to these guys!

Ten Days

2008-10-10T13:13:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted for ten days. And my, how the world has changed (or maybe it hasn't changed, but a spotlight is shining down on the worst in human nature). I am outraged at the conduct of the McCain- Palin campaign and the ignorance of some of their supporters. So much so that I can barely even talk about it. Blatant racism, xenophobia, guilt by association, and the list continues to grow daily. I decided to write McCain's daughter Meghan. I don't know that she'll actually read it, but I figured if someone could knock some sense into the campaign maybe it would be a former Democrat who changed parties to be able to vote for her dad in the primaries. I have waited on Meghan and John McCain when he would visit her when she was attending Columbia in NYC. They were both always exceptionally nice and good tippers. And as a side note- I thought that John McCain was a pretty cool dude back then and was almost as excited to wait on him as I was Cher! I tried to focus my attention in the letter to the fact that both McCain and Palin have not publicly reproached their attendees when they say unacceptable things. I watched a video where a person called out "Terrorist!" when John McCain asked the loaded question, "Who is the real Barack Obama?" He looks visibly uncomfortable for a moment and then he continues with the baiting which is dishonest and dishonorable. I said to Meghan that regardless of the outcome of this election her father deserves a better legacy than one that includes such low balling in the final days of a campaign. I believe he is an honorable man that has lost his way and she has an opportunity to bring him back. He deserves that legacy. And all Americans, Republican and Democrat, deserve better.

My Solution

2008-09-30T00:55:00.004-04:00

Thank God the bailout failed. Yes, I believe they need to come up with something, but buying all the bad mortgage backed securities from the banks only transfers the problem from one entity- the banks, to another- the government. All the $700 billion would do is guarantee that we have to continue poring money into an inexhaustible situation. The extremely tricky question is, where in this situation is the most help needed? I would love to say that we could help homeowners out, but we can't. The reason that won't work is the crumbling mortgage market is beginning to negatively effect all homeowners. If you decide to bail out individuals who can't pay their mortgages, where do you draw the line? Do you help all homeowners who have lost money on their initial investment? And more importantly, as responsible homeowners see the government help those who defaulted on their loans, what stops them from stopping their own mortgage payments so that they receive government aid too? Anyone with a mortgage has the potential to owe more money than the property is worth. Do we help them too?
So, we come back to Wall Street and our only choice is to let the crap securities stay where they are and open a line of credit to the banks. If it's credit they need to get business done (business which includes lending money to companies so that they can write our payroll checks and conduct their daily business), then We the People can lend. Lending implies a return. It is not a bailout if we make money available to borrow. Consider it a giant student loan. Most of these guys probably didn't have student loans so it would be mandatory for them to attend a class where the gravity of borrowing someone else's money is fully explained to them. Also explained in this class is how important repaying your loan is and that if you fail to pay the government back, your wages can and will be garnished (thank God they all make far more money than your average graduate paying back loans). We get them on a payment plan and we'll have the money returned with interest. We could even throw in some hidden fees, over-limit fees, cash advance fees, late payment fees, and your basic "We Gotcha Cornered- Umbrella Fee" for anything the agreement didn't previously cover, but that we thought up after the fact!
I love Karma!

Laugh your a$% off, I did!

2008-09-29T13:00:00.001-04:00

Boy, do we need to laugh these days and this one helped! In case you missed Governor Sarah Palin's interview with Katie Couric, what this instead!!

Drum Roll Please!!!

2008-09-27T13:03:00.008-04:00

Jodi Beck (that's me!)will be appearing at the World Famous Cabaret space Don’t Tell Mama’s in the heart of NYC's theatre district for a limited engagement!!!

Tickets are not yet available (don't worry I'll let you know when they are!), but the space and times are reserved! It will be Saturday November 22 at 6pm and Sunday November 23 at 3pm!!

Can you tell I'm excited!!!!

Happy Birthday Jenny!!

2008-09-26T15:24:00.002-04:00

Don't worry- this won't hurt a bit. You're just a year older!

Yeah, we're weird!
I hope you have a fabulous birthday! I love you! And by the way, I was going to put up other pictures but these were the only ones I found that were already on my computer!

A Change

2008-09-26T01:33:00.003-04:00

This is my favorite time of year. I love that when it gets colder I have to wear layers- we all look good in layers. I love being reminded during the fall that we are on a cycle, that we will once again see everything go to sleep only to be awakened fresh and new in the spring. I thought to myself on my way home as I was basically running through the rain without an umbrella, "Am I happy?" And my answer was yes. And then I asked myself, "Am I satisfied?" And my answer was no. I slowed my pace at that point and allowed myself to realize that although the world around me might be scarier than it had been before, the sun will continue to rise and set whether I worry about it or not.
I am happy and unsatisfied. That made me laugh. And as I turned the corner of my street I followed behind two older people with plastic grocery bags on their heads and I laughed out loud. If there is something, anything to smile about, allow yourself that. And if you want to laugh out loud- do it.

When You Have to Do Something!

2008-09-25T12:38:00.003-04:00

Make phone calls!! And make them now!!!
Call the Obama campaign, the McCain campaign, the Commission on Presidential Debates, and the University of Mississippi to voice your support of the debates continuing as planned. We need to hear from these men on where they stand and where they plan to take this country. This is not a time to suspend campaigning when the election is becoming more important on a daily basis. Here are their numbers, and I have to tell you, I was a little nervous to call the University of Mississippi's Public relations department, but they were sooooooooo nice! And the woman I spoke to said thank you to me for calling twice and said that was exactly what they needed to hear today. This will take only minutes of your time!

Obama Campaign: 866-675-2008 (I had a little difficulty getting through on the line, but you can visit the website www.barackobama.com and email them through the contact us link under the Action tab.

McCain Campaign: (703) 418-2008 (The voicemail box is full) Their website is www.johnmccain.com

Commission on Presidential Debates: (202) 872-1020 I got an answering machine and just left a short message.

University of Mississippi: (662) 915-7211 The first woman I spoke to, Dorothy, thanked me and then connected me to the head of Public Relations (I missed her name) who was even nicer than Dorothy!

Great Quote!

2008-09-25T01:13:00.000-04:00

"For years now, they've told us that we can't afford—that the government providing health care to all people is just unimaginable; it can't be done. We don't have the money to rebuild our infrastructure. We don't have the money to wipe out poverty. We can't do it. But all of a sudden, yeah, we do have $700 billion for a bailout of Wall Street."—Senator Bernie Sanders (I-Vermont).

CANDY!!!

2008-09-24T01:55:00.004-04:00

Don't think we're gonna have much to give out come Halloween time, but I thought this was an interesting metaphor. I caught this on another blog. I'm assuming Rachel is a pundit on MSNBC and not a reporter, therefore the obvious bias (she only interviews an Obama supporter.)
George Bush says, "We must join to move urgently needed legislation as quickly as possible. Without adding controversial provisions that could delay action." Sound familiar???

Au Revoir Laissez-Faire

2008-09-20T11:33:00.010-04:00

So much for the party of less regulation, less government. It looks like the Republicans are changing their tune. Funny how the party of the "average Joe" is now asking Joe to foot the bill for their true constituents who lobbied the government for less regulation so they could make more money by doing riskier and riskier things. Oh and John McCain has proposed a new Federal agency, the MFI (Mortgage and Financial Institutions Trust). I'm not sure how tax cuts pay for this, but I'm sure they will explain it to us. Ever wonder what happens to a government that continually borrows more money than it could possibly pay back using its people as collateral? For more information on the SEC and their lack of oversight, listen to This American Life's show titled The Enforcers. The section is titled, Act Two. Now You SEC Me, Now You Don't. Incompetence begets incompetence. Greed begets greed. And as for the new song they are playing: You can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig!!!!

How to Win

2008-09-18T00:27:00.002-04:00

Ignore the game that your opponents want to play with you. Start a game that you can be proud of and one if your opponents decided to play they would decidedly lose. Moral, Wise, and Presidential.

"The Other Side"

2008-09-16T23:21:00.007-04:00

My brother Jim is blogging again.
I told him that I would ask my readers to check it out. As I was thinking about how to tell all of you to read his blog, I realized that he needed a trailer. I thought of Poltergeist II and I thought that Carol Anne said, "He's back," but she doesn't. She says, "They're back." Either way, I think the following trailer is a brilliant warning label to my readers that you enter the world of "The View from the Right Side" at your own risk. Jim often makes very rational educated arguments, and he doesn't back down. If you feel that you might have to start taking blood pressure medication to read it, I have this to say to you, "Carol Anne- listen to me. Do NOT go into the light. Stop where you are. Turn away from it. Don't even look at it."

Ten on Tuesday- Old photos edition!

2008-09-16T12:16:00.006-04:00

1. I have some pictures on my camera from a while ago that I wanted to share. This is Jonathan from my Dad's birthday in May.

2. Christopher from Dad's birthday!

3. Joshua- he looks like a giant baby from the perspective- I really don't see these little guys enough.

4. Random guy walking the streets in Chelsea wearing only purple underwear and two braids- question is: Did he actually walk into a store like that to pick up whatever is in the bag, or are those his clothes?

5. Me and Alex hanging at Pat O'Connelly's before he left for his show.

6. Me, Mere, and our new friend Wes. Mere and I were trying to look as young as Wes. Yep, we pulled it off!

7. Caribbean Carnival- Labor Day 08. The costumes are awesome. The food is so good and the music is pumping. Basically, a great way to spend the unofficial last day of summer!

8. Stilts- sooo cool- this guy was enormous!

9. More cool floats- these are on wheels that attach to someone's body and they carry it on themselves for the length of the parade.

10. I've never taken a video with my camera before, but I wanted you to get a sense of the parade. This was one of the coolest costumes!

Moving on

2008-09-10T23:26:00.000-04:00

So, I took the bus home the other night and as we passed the Catholic church two women on the bus crossed themselves. And then, tonight when I was walking home past that same Catholic church a man walked past me and crossed himself. Two thoughts on this: One, I must have missed that day at PSR (Parish Student Religion- Catechism) where they taught that you cross yourself when in the presence of the church. And two, thank God I was by the church in both instances when this happened, otherwise I might think that I have two horns on my head that only Catholics can see!

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself...

2008-09-05T00:53:00.005-04:00

So, I won't. First, Jon Stewart:
**Programming note: I tried to only include the clip Hypocrisy Now, but it was removed from youtube. So, you have to watch the whole Daily Show Episode but that's okay because it will make you laugh.**

Second, Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin:
"Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents," Sarah and Todd Palin said in the brief statement.
Obviously, Governor Palin is pro-choice?

Really?

2008-08-29T11:53:00.009-04:00

The media makes me angry. As many of you know, I don't have a TV and unfortunately I arrived home last night at the end of Obama's speech. So, I watched what was left of the speech on the live feed at CNN.com and then attempted to find the speech in it's entirety. It took about 25 minutes for MSNBC.com to post video of the speech, but it was only the first 16 minutes. As I looked for the remainder of the speech I watched a whole host of videos on the convention, including my favorite The Daily Show. There was an overwhelming amount of coverage on the "disenfranchised," "bitter" Hillary Clinton supporters, including the Daily Show which poked fun at this sad state of affairs. It is so unfortunate that at this point we are poised to put a historic, worthy candidate Barack Obama in the White House and we very well may shoot ourselves in the foot with a borrowed gun from the Republicans! Let me say what I think is really happening. First of all, we have lived through two elections where we were cheated by the Republicans. Arguably, you can say that they just played the game better. The Supreme Court gave the 2000 election to Bush and in 2004 while there were election irregularities the election was lost by a combination of a weak Democratic candidate and Rovian tactics and swift boating. All Democrats approached this election believing that we not only had to win, but that we would win. So, what happened? We had two strong, historic, exciting candidates in Clinton and Obama and only one could win. We stood behind our candidate knowing that all we had to do was get through the primaries and then that person would be the next president of the United States. It was so close and passions were so high. Only one could win. And when it was clear that it was Barack Obama, the media played into our wounds of previous elections and equated the dirtiness of the previous two elections with this primary. THEY ARE NOT COMPARABLE!! Those wounds were all of ours. All Democrats felt it. I cried when Kerry lost in 2004 and I didn't really like him all that much. I can only imagine how Hilary's supporter's felt in the loss, especially considering she is a dynamic worthy candidate. But, WAKE UP, people! By feeding into the media's perception that you are still bitter about Hilary's loss, it only makes it easier for all of us to lose. McCain in 2008 is not a viable option for us. He chose a female running mate to try and convince Hilary supporters that he is their man. He is not. We lost a chance to put a woman in the White House, but don't vote for McCain or decide to just not vote out of some misplaced anger at the process. Realize that the next president is poised to nominate 3 Supreme Court Justices. Women have a lot to lose in this election. And women have so much to gain if Barack Obama is elected. Don't allow the media or the Rovian spinsters in the McCain camp play into your disappointment. Enthusiastically get behind Obama.

A Little Help from my Friends!

2008-08-25T00:36:00.004-04:00

So I took this really cool seminar about putting my career on the right path by incorporating more business into it. So, I am a brand: Jodi Beck. What does that brand mean to you? And more importantly what characteristics do I share with famous people that I can reference? The people I got in class from people who don't know me are:
Alanis Morissette- her earthiness/ groundedness
Jennifer Garner- who I look like (thanks! she's beautiful)
Toni Collette- her power
Tina Fey- her intelligence
One girl said that I reminded her of a teacher that listens well and is really a cool person to be around. I guess for hanging out with these people in a class for three hours that's a really nice first impression. Some of these suggestions I agree with, some I think could be better. The way the brand works is that I would go to a casting director or agent and say something like, "I'm the beauty of Jennifer Garner, with the comic sensibilities and intelligence of Tina Fey with the power of Toni Collette." Basically, it puts images in their minds and helps them better place me and market me to the world. So, please, Please, PLEASE, those of you that know me tell me who you've always thought I resembled in any way- any part of my character. The more I get the better. I can throw out the ones I'm sure aren't right and maybe get some better analogies.

Oh Lord

2008-08-20T00:09:00.004-04:00

I joined Facebook. I have been attempting to not join for the entire time I have had a MySpace page. I don't have time to be hanging out in front of my computer mindlessly wandering from page to page, learning meaningless details about my friends' lives. What did I do all day, you might be wondering? I have been trying to get my page to include everything that my MySpace page does and that takes time and effort. What should I have been doing? I should have been calling cabaret venues for pricing and availability. So, what did I learn today? It's not as easy to stalk people on Facebook, but it sure can eat up your time!

Three and a Half Weeks Ago

2008-08-13T00:08:00.006-04:00

WARNING! Rated somewhere between PG-13 and R for violence and language.

I went out for drinks with Mere and Doug in Astoria after work. We started at Bar 36 but quickly moved on to a much better spot called the Brick Cafe. We talked and laughed, drank some beer and had a great time. Doug walked me to my train and Mere and I decided to time how long it took for us to each get home. She was walking quite a few blocks to her apartment and once I got off the train two stops away, I had a walk. It was about 3:15am when I got off the train and started my 15 minute walk home. I texted Mere that it had taken me only 20 minutes from the time we left the bar to my stop- I was super excited that the train came right away at that time in the morning. She had just gotten home. I knew she'd make it before me. As I walked down the garden pathway to my apartment and turned left toward my doorway, I reached into my bag to get my keys. I opened the first unlocked doorway and thought, "Yay, it's Friday! My Time magazine will be in the mailbox." As I was thinking this and looking at the mailboxes, I saw out of the corner of my eye, a man run up the three stairs to my entryway and open the door. He had no keys in his hand. I said, "You need to ring a buzzer, I'm not letting you in the building." I opened my mailbox, got out my magazine and saw that he had gotten out his phone- a Sidekick. I thought, "Well, he's making an effort." I turned my back to him and he reached around me with his right arm and grabbed me. This spun me around with a ferocity I wasn't aware I had. As I turned I elbowed him in the stomach and said, "You have got to be fucking kidding me." He said (and this was the only time he spoke), "All I want is just your... " (I put the ellipsis here, not for emphasis, but because my adrenaline was so pumped up that I can't really figure out what he said. I initially thought he said shoes, but there was no way that's what he wanted, I was wearing $7 ballet slipper type shoes from Payless). I had started kicking him and punching him and he grabbed both my wrists while I yelled and said just about every swear word I could think of at him. I looked to my right and saw the buzzers for all the apartments. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I'll fucking ring every god damn buzzer in this building." I saw that my elbow was close enough to the buzzers that if I could just lean on them I would ring them all. I lunged toward the wall, but he pulled me away. It was at this moment when I stopped thinking and started screaming HELP at the top of my voice. He freaked out, let me go and ran out the door. I opened the door and screamed out at him, "Fuck you, you Mother Fucker!" I was so angry and scared, I didn't know what to do. I thought, "Where are my keys?" I looked on the floor, I grabbed at my purse and dug through it and then freaked out. I started crying hysterically because I realized without my keys I couldn't get safe. I thought he stole them. I was still in that tiny room unprotected and crumbled up in the corner crying. I dialed Meredith. She picked up and at first thought I was laughing. After I gasped through the story she told me to ring my land lady's bell. I did and as I turned toward the door I saw that I must have put my keys in the door just before he grabbed me. I ran upstairs, hung up with Mere and dialed 911. I had to recount the story to the dispatcher, then when the police arrived (less than five minutes later) I had to recount the story again. They took the description- young (less than 25, I'd put him at 21), 5' 9", Hispanic, light brown skin, blue jeans, white shirt and red baseball cap- pretty non-descript clothing. They said they would look around, but it had been at least 15 minutes since it had happened. They didn't come back. Meredith had gotten in a taxi and was there shortly after. I recounted the story to her and we tried to go to sleep. Needless to say I couldn't sleep and my tossing and turning wasn't helping her at all, plus it was the hottest night of the summer. She left in the morning after OB called when he saw all my missed calls and text messages. He came over right then to get me. He let me cry on his shoulder and then put me to bed at his apartment with the air conditioning on while he made me soup. I had bought tickets for us to see A Catered Affair that night, so he let me sleep (still not great sleep) until about 530 and then we ate our wonderful soup and went to the show. It wasn't the best show in the world, but we had a good time and then we headed to one of my favorite bars in midtown- Kemia Bar and we had such a fabulous time I was able to let go and forget about everything. It was the wonderful ending to a horrible day. After filing a report with the police department I was contacted by a Detective who informed me that the incident was considered "harassment"- a misdemeanor. This is for several reasons, but mostly because I fought him off and I wasn't hurt. I was also informed that I could look at mug shots, but that there would be over a thousand from my precinct and the two closest precincts using my description of him. I let it go. I only told my mom and left it to her to tell other people in my family because I was over telling it and I didn't want people to make a big fuss. That's why I never wrote about it and I think why I've had such a hard time writing the last few weeks. This incident consumes my thoughts on my walk home (less and less as the days go by, though) and so when I sit in front of the computer I can't write. I'm kind of tired of it, really. I figured writing it out might help and it might let women know they have the power to fight back. I knew I was a fighter, but I wasn't aware that I would act so instinctively. The only thing I ask of you all reading this is, if you comment, please do not talk about "what-ifs" and "might have beens." It's hard enough the way it actually happened, I don't need help imagining what could have happened. It has made me more aware of my surroundings and so, unfortunately, has taken away the time I had enjoyed with myself and my thoughts on my walk home. The first few times coming home were tough, but it's gotten easier. I'm not sleeping well, but my stress has always come out when I sleep. Hopefully that will ease over time too. And, please, no pity. I'm fine, if there is anyone to worry about, it's the boy who did this. I wonder about him a lot- what kind of life he might have if at such a young age he's doing what he did to me? Hopefully, whatever this was was the first time he had ever done anything like it and he took the hint that he's not very good at it. You can't target a girl in a super cute dress at 330 in the morning just because you think she won't fight back. But, thanks to him I got a reminder to never be the girl in the super cute dress coming home drunk because I wouldn't have done so well.

Sorry

2008-08-11T23:57:00.002-04:00

It's been over a week since I blogged. I realized last week what it was. There is a story that I didn't want to share, but I have realized that it is important to talk about. I obviously have been putting it off. And here's to a bit more procrastination, I need to go to bed so it will have to wait another day. Hope you are all still out there, I have not abandoned you!

Moving slowly

2008-08-02T13:13:00.002-04:00

So, I just got out of bed. Yesterday was a marathon. I worked setting up a trade show from 8am to 4pm and then I had to literally run across town, from 11th Ave and 37th street to Times Square (42 and 7th Ave), and then onto the shuttle to Grand Central (a short stop at a convenient store in GC where a Naked juice cost $5.79- Ouch!) and then to bartending from 430 to 1030. Mere met me at my bar and we went to a pub for drinks. We had a few Guinness and then I realized after eating an entire basket of stale pretzels that I really did not eat enough food and I had to eat or I might die. So in perfect Mere and Jodi fashion we walked from 42 and Vanderbilt all the way up to 60th and 2nd Ave. I was so hungry when I got there I could barely think. I had a bacon cheeseburger- yep, sure sign that I might be a little tipsy and starving, I eat the worst thing I can think of and finish every last fry. And to any who might be worrying I took a taxi home and then ran from the taxi into my apartment.
Food List for Friday
1. Latte
2. Cup of Coffee with just milk
3. Sausage, Egg and cheese on a whole wheat bagel
4. Apple
5. Peanut M&M's (I bought them on the train a few days before from the cutest little boy- thank God I found them in my bag as I ran across town!)
6. Blue Machine Naked juice- Yum
7. A tiny piece of pizza from my bar- we give free pizza to bar customers (and hungry bartenders!)
8. Fruit Tart
9. 3 Guinness
10. Basket of stale pretzels (I did share with Mere and Rebecca!)
11. Bacon Cheeseburger and fries!
I'm thinking about detoxing!

UM...

2008-08-01T00:41:00.002-04:00

It's August, in case you weren't aware. Where does time go? And why does it seem to move so much more quickly in warm weather? If you're in NYC or the surrounding area for the rest of the summer check out Time Out New York's "25 outdoor things to do before summer ends."
And even if you're not here, modify the fabulous ideas and get out there and enjoy the rest of the summer! I am hoping that I can work out the hot air balloon ride, boating in Central Park, Yoga outside (there is also Tai Chi in Bryant Park in the mornings that I want to try) and the rafting down the Delaware. Those sound like the most fun to me!

Ten On Tuesday

2008-07-29T23:58:00.008-04:00

1. I got this post started just two minutes before midnight! Hurray for Ten on Tuesday!
2. I did a pretty good job not caring today. I think that the fact that I stood up for myself last night worked in my favor today- no stress and no worries!
3. I realized that it was pretty easy to tell myself not to worry about all the stuff I can't change, but when people are involved that I feel are being taken advantage of, I really do want to care. I just have to realize that other people have to learn to ask for what is right in their lives and that I don't have to do it for them. They'll figure it out eventually.
4. Christine (a girl that I work with) and her father Frank took us to the rooftop of the MetLife building today. Just as an FYI it is not a public building like the Empire State or the Chrysler building. It was open to the sky and the view was spectacular! It was an amazing treat!

5. Luiza's new tattoo and the Chrysler building!

6. The Empire State building. It was so close, we could see the flashes from people's camera's.

7. This short, stout building is the United Nations with the East River and Queens in the background!

8. The majestic Chrysler Building.

9. Me in front of the Chrysler building. Of course I had to get one self portrait in there. (For the record, it was bright and I had forgotten my sunglasses and I had just finished my first shift of the day- I look a mess, I know!)

10. And this is 100 Park Avenue. I kind of love that the number is all the way at the top of the building!

I Care Too Much

2008-07-28T23:57:00.003-04:00

I know I haven't spoken much about my new job- I don't particularly like it. Ok, why dance around it? I really don't care for this job. I'm waiting tables at a restaurant that is closed on the weekend. That's what I like- the weekends free to feel like a somewhat normal human being (and spend time with OB). But, I don't think there will ever be a waiting job that I love- it's not who I am. I am an actress that finds herself waiting tables at the moment (this very long moment). The unfortunate thing is that I care too much about all the bullS&^t that happens. Caring about it is a waste of my time and I am well aware of the amount of time it consumes my thoughts and generally pisses me off. The real problem is that I'm a fixer and a perfectionist- there is a problem, I see a clear cut solution and when those around me don't see it or add to the problem I get frustrated. I need to remind myself that not everyone thinks like I do, it is not my responsibility to make everything alright, and I am paid way too little money an hour ($4.75, plus tips, of course) to care as much as I do. So, I am on a quest to go to work for the rest of the week and only do my job to the best of my ability and let all the other stuff go- I will not join in the complaining and I WILL NOT tell my friends at work what could or should be done to make things better. I hope this works. To be continued...

Been Away...

2008-07-23T23:32:00.002-04:00

Sorry I have abandoned blogging once again. It is never on purpose (oh, except for that one time...) it just happens that life gets in the way. I will be back, just not yet. I don't feel particularly witty or interesting at the moment, so I'll be back when I do feel that way. Until then watch this episode of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The first two segments deal with the the terror watch list and the drama over the New Yorker cover. It made me laugh so hard my belly hurt. And who doesn't need to laugh?!

Ten on Tuesday

2008-07-15T00:36:00.010-04:00

1. I spent the weekend in Baltimore for Charissa's birthday! We had a great time, drank a little too much, and ate a ton of fabulous bad for you food. It was so fun! (Enjoy the pics!)
2. This is Charissa and I playing Police 911, which was Charissa's favorite game at D ave and Buster's. I have to say, my hair looks pretty cool in the action shot Rissa took of me!
3.I started this post Tuesday morning at around 12:45AM, and I had only written number one by Wednesday night at 11:39PM. I am not doing a good job staying on top of my blog.
4. Remember those Rollerblades I bought last week with my stimulus check? Well, I crashed today. It will probably take me at least an hour to finish this post because I'm typing one-handed, while I hold ice to my bruised and swollen knee (mom, don't worry, it sounds worse than it is).
5. Note to self: Rollerblades should never be used as a mode of transportation unless you live in the plains where hills/ downgrades don't exist at all. Or if there was a way to only skate up hills and not down...
6. So, as I was running late to my voice lesson and Doug lives just two miles away and it usually takes forever to get there using public transportation, I determined skating there was my best and most fun option. I put on my skates and crossed Northern Blvd. As I headed down the street a man in a second story apartment shouted out, "Nice!" I thought, "Yep, I'm hot shit." Second note to self: when gravity could be a factor, never get cocky! A guy passes me on a bike going the other direction and it's at this moment that I realize a huge hill looms before me. As I head down and pick up way too much speed, I decide to begin skating side to side, while using my brake (useless at such speeds) to slow down. It's about halfway down the hill that a slight panic begins to set in. This is no bike and hike trail (long story, but it involves me, Craig, Rollerblades and a separated shoulder- not mine!) this is a flippin' street in Queens, NYC. What in the bloody hell was I thinking? I'm not into extreme sports, but I realize that the only thing I can do is stop by running into something that hopefully doesn't have its own inertia. I scoped out an already banged up vehicle and head straight for it (let's be honest, I was already headed straight for it!) As I approached I grabbed for the side view mirror so as to not slam into the side. I flipped over and landed on my left knee and my left elbow. Remember the cyclist I passed on the street? He heard me crash, stopped and asked if I was OK (That was so nice of him). I was fine. I scooped myself and my dignity from the road and decided at the corner that I would be walking the rest of the way!
7. I can't decide if this new job is worth it. The bonus is every weekend free- it's a restaurant in an office building that closes for all banking holidays and weekends. And that's where the bonuses end. I won't go into it here, but I have never worked at a place so disorganized.
8. I've met some cool people, though, patrons and co-workers.
9. By the way, it is now Thursday morning at 12:33. I have officially been at this post for two days- oops!
10. My cabaret seems to be coming along well (I just needed to get out of my own way!). I know I haven't talked about it much, but I have decided that it is going to be my birthday gift to myself. So, mark your calendars for the week of November 18th. You're coming to NYC to see me sing for my birthday! And that means ALL OF YOU!!!!

How I Stimulated the Economy (and failed) by Jodi Beck

2008-07-08T23:50:00.004-04:00

I received my letter from the government last Monday (in case you don't know, delivery of the stimulus checks was based on the last two digits of your social security number) telling me my check would be mailed to me by July 5. For some reason I was not eligible for the entire 600. They docked me $47. "That's okay," I thought, and I proceeded to spend the week dreaming about what I was going to do with this treasure that had befallen me. I first thought that I should put it in the bank and pay down some of my debt, but it was the week of our country's independence and I was reminded of my duty to country. This was called a Stimulus check, for Pete's sake, and I would go out and stimulate! I felt an odd sense of pride on Saturday as I spent the money I had not actually received (it didn't end up in my mailbox until today). I bought a duvet cover, sheets, lunch for OB and me, Rollerblades (I've had the same pair for at least 10 years), and a manicure and pedicure. I stopped at this point because I got nervous that the check might get misplaced in the mail and as per the letter I'd received, I wouldn't be able to call the government to ask about it until six weeks had passed. But that gave me some needed time to reflect on the money, and I've decided it's going in the bank. It may seem patriotic to spend the stimulus check, but I want to have some money in the bank when the Chinese come knocking to have our debt repaid. I thank them so much for the joy of new (and cheap) things (yes my Rollerblades were made in China), but it's America that I live in and America's birth I celebrated on Friday. Spending money that should be saved has become the American way, but it's the least patriotic thing we can do. Saving it helps us all become a tiny bit freer of the tangled web of debt that we have created and the Chinese buy up like it was land in Manhattan. They will want it back at some point and you have to believe it will probably happen at the least convenient time. So, that is how I tried to stimulate the economy and failed. How did you do?

Calling All Readers!! *****(Amended)

2008-06-27T23:38:00.004-04:00

Calling all readers of this blog (and in particular, those that know me) to give me suggestions for songs to sing at my Cabaret. I know, I know, I've been talking about doing this thing for so long you probably think it isn't ever going to happen, but it is. I started rehearsing with my friend Doug two weeks ago. I need material. It is so difficult to decide what to sing and I realized how daunting a task putting together an hour of music is. So, please, Please, PLEASE give me any suggestions no matter how silly or unlike me the songs might be. I don't mind learning new songs (they do not have to be musical theatre songs), in fact two of my favorite songs are two that I learned in the last few weeks! Also, if there is something that you remember me singing that you'd like to hear again, remind me of it. I have most likely forgotten it! And most importantly, if there is a song that you think I might do well- let me know!!! There of course is the added bonus of hearing me sing it in public if I choose it and you come to see me (which of course, you most definately willl!) And thanks in advance. ***** Doug also plays guitar and he's attempting to teach me (I have claws for hands!). We really want some songs that are accompanied by guitar, so any suggestions for that would be great too!

Congratulations Tasha and Scott!

2008-06-26T00:02:00.008-04:00

The Bride and Groom!

Tasha at the salon- all ready to go!

Tiffany (Maid of Honor) at the salon- she needs a little help!

Uncle Tim, Stacy (Maid of Honor), Tasha, and Aunt Carol

Enjoying a drink!

Me and my Mom dancing the night away.

Her hair turned out just fine!

Sandy (Matron of Honor) tearing it up on the dance floor.

Odelle dancing with the Bride!

Me and Tasha!

Tasha's Wedding!

2008-06-20T00:45:00.002-04:00

My cousin Tasha is getting married on Saturday! I will have new blog posts and pictures when I get back on Monday!!!

You know you're tired when...

2008-06-13T00:42:00.002-04:00

1. You use a fork to eat your yogurt because the idea of standing in front of the sink to wash the dishes makes your back hurt even more than it already does.
2. The beer you put in the freezer when you got home (because the Bodega you stopped at doesn't understand that a refrigerator is intended to keep things cold) froze all the way through because you couldn't get your ass up from the computer chair. Sitting for the first time all day is such a beautiful thing.
3. When filling out an online form you cannot remember your current zip code and you swear you still live in Manhattan even though you haven't lived there for two years (have to admit, this one happened after drinking the frozen beer, so I'm not sure it's completely fatigue's fault).
And finally...
4. You irrationally decide to write out a list of the reasons why you are tired instead of just going to bed.

Do you buy plastic water bottles?

2008-06-10T00:21:00.001-04:00

Yes, I am going to proselytize for a moment. Forgive me, but are you one of the many Americans that drinks bottled water? Do you buy it in the new "Eco friendly" plastic bottles so cleverly (and uber-annoyingly) created by Poland Spring? They are NOT Eco-friendly. There is nothing Eco friendly about water that comes in plastic bottles. The reason I am bringing this up is today I watched a woman change the trash on the train platform and three empty "Eco friendly" bottles of Poland Spring crashed to the floor as she pulled the bag from the trash can. Plastic that is not recycled is NOT at all Eco-friendly. Just because they say it is 100% recyclable does not make you, the consumer, actually recycle it. Recyclable is not the same as biodegradable, folks! If it ends up in the trash it will possibly take hundreds of years to biodegrade. Look at the interesting statistics here if I haven't made you feel horrible enough for buying plastic water bottles and then throwing them in the trash. Poland Spring touts this bottle as Eco-friendly because it is made with 30% less plastic. Basically that makes the bottle lighter and therefore cheaper for them to ship- its true positive impact on the world is negligible, but it's monetary benefit to the company is huge (not to mention the fact that they somehow convinced us all it's okay to pay for drinking water). And one final point: We live in a country where tap water is good and plentiful. Why are you wasting your money on bottled water when it comes to your house for free or for a relatively low cost? Buy a water filter, attach it to your sink, put $1-$2 in a cookie jar every time you get a glass of water and watch the savings grow (by the way- reuse the same water glass all day!). And on top of that for those times that you are traveling, walking, or otherwise out of the house and jonesing for some H2O, go to www.mysigg.com and buy yourself a cool aluminum water bottle (Check out the benefits of non plastic here). Okay, now that that's out- I feel better!

Ten on Tuesdays

2008-06-03T01:15:00.002-04:00

1. It was such a beautiful weekend. It has rained so much this spring that everything is that deep color of green and the flowers all have their deepest colors out for us to see.
2. I understand the premise of Do It Yourself checkouts at grocery stores and Home Depots and the rest, but it really is not very practical and it makes me laugh to watch inexperienced people try to look for the UPC bar codes. Not to mention that when you move the wrong way the computer starts shouting at you that you have an unauthorized product in the bag. It really isn't faster unless no one is in the line ahead of you and it makes otherwise intelligent people into seemingly incompetent fools.
3. Why do we think that everything can be made simpler with technology?
4. I watched Pretty Woman with OB last night because we happened upon it while channel surfing. God, I love that movie. When I was in high school, my mom bought it on VHS and Erin and I would watch it over and over until we had it memorized. We even watched it once through so we could count the number of times that Julia Roberts makes a certain face. She purses her lips as though she is either about to kiss someone or to show you that she has big, pouty lips (I'm not sure which one), but she does it throughout the movie. I think it is a character choice that Julia made. Vivian does it when she wants to make a point or when she wants to come across as sexy.
5. Haven't we all wanted a man to come to our tower, draw his sword, and then climb to rescue us?
6. I love her response to his question. When he finally makes it up the fire escape to her he asks, "And what happens when he finally makes it to the tower to rescue her?" And Vivian answers, "She rescues him right back." Why do I love this so much? Because the stranded princess in the tower isn't hopeless and powerless, she is capable of giving the prince all that he needs as well. Brilliant- a fairy tale with a feminist side!
7. I need to start going to the gym every day- I had been doing it for a while, but I have surely gotten out of the habit.
8. I need to do some spring cleaning before spring is over.
9. My brother-in-law, Rob, is a firefighter. He went to a fire in Kent, Ohio and his pictures and the story are on the website Firehouse.com.
10. Our family was celebrating my dad's 71st birthday there the Saturday night before the restaurant caught fire.

Favorite Thing

2008-05-30T01:06:00.002-04:00

My favorite thing about any new job or whenever you meet new people and start to spend a lot of time with them is when they finally ask you how old you are. I just recently started having people guess because it's more fun than just saying it. And I am lucky, I am usually taken for a lot younger than I am. Thank God for moisturizer and sunscreen I suppose! Well, the average guess is about 23. I am actually shocked at how low that is. I hope that when I am 40 I am still averaging a 7 year lead without surgery. I'm not afraid of getting old, in fact, I often look forward to it. I do not plan on cosmetic surgery (does getting rid of spider veins count??), but I do plan on aging gracefully.

Figuring It Out- Anniversary Edition

2008-05-22T07:46:00.002-04:00

Happy Blogging Anniversary to me...

I love birthdays and anniversaries and just about any reason to celebrate the joys of life, but I have not been very keen on this one. I set out a year ago to "figure it out" and I haven't. I guess I knew then that I wouldn't have it figured out and that's why I called my blog "Figuring it out." I must congratulate myself on my foresight. So, here we come to what I have figured and what I still have to figure.

Lately, it has been difficult for me to write how I am feeling and what I am thinking. Hence, the reason why my anniversary blog is a week late. I am generally a positive, optimistic person and I don't feel that way at the moment. It will pass, but as I am going through a rough time at the exact moment that I am calling myself to reflect on a year gone by I know that I will be far too hard on myself. I chose a tough path for myself, but it is becoming clearer to me exactly how tough it truly is. OK, I need to stop talking about this, because it's turning into a pity party for myself and we all deserve better writing than that!

I see life as a collection of perceptions. The only thing that has the potential to be truly known and not perceived is the self. And that, of course, is only true if you take the time to know your own mind. I know it sounds like an ego trip, but I think it's true. All that you think you know of others and situations is only a perception. You could never be granted the access into others' minds that you have with your own. The beauty of life is that the relationships that we cultivate tend to bring us to a closer understanding of ourselves and one another. We just have to open our hearts.

Repeated rejection hurts. It has the ability to crack the hardest of us and weaken our resolve. When I meet for lunch with friends of mine (who are usually in the business) it is a common refrain of mine to end with a hug and "we need to take care of each other." I truly believe it's the only way to defeat the hurt. We all should spend a little more time lifting each other up rather than pointing out flaws. It's something I have to remind myself of when I am feeling low. You can dwell on the negative and get nowhere or live in the positive and move forward. (In case you hadn't realized I am writing this as a mantra to myself, but you can use it if it helps!) I know it's cliche, but the Golden Rule really does apply. Treat others as you wish to be treated.

In case you didn't know Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, and Mark Twain were geniuses. In perfect Internet fashion all were attributed with the following quote. "Insanity- doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." Probably, none of them said it, but it always does bolster your point when you can attribute your thoughts to a genius. I feel a bit crazy lately and I will tell you that it comes directly from almost two years of approaching my career in the same way, not getting what I want and continuing the same process hoping that something will change. Only I can change. Change is hard for me. I sit on the fence far more often than I even like to admit to myself.

I erased my Sitemeter on this blog. I realized that tracking my hits was as crazy as following people on MySpace. It is better for us all that it's gone. So, basically, I'm asking that if you visit, leave a comment, even if it's to say hi, or remain anonymous. It's your choice.

I enjoy observing and learning from people. I guess that's what makes me a good actress. Life is a journey that we only have once. I hope to make the most of it, even with its bumps and bruises it is still a fascinating ride. I hope that in the coming year I will find more stories from my life in NYC to share with you as I continue "figuring it out."

Taking a Break

2008-05-08T23:55:00.002-04:00

I am going to take a break from my blog. Probably just a week and I'll be back in enough time to post my first anniversary edition of "Figuring It Out," where I am sure to extol the virtues of a great title. Had I named this blog "Give Me A Year, I'll Figure it Out" I would be kicking myself for the fact that a year has gone by and I feel like I have less figured out than I did last year at this time. Using the present progressive tense of the word 'figure' has helped me immensely as I can continually be figuring. So rest assured the next week will be filled with an immense amount of figuring, just not for you to witness...

A Poem

2008-05-07T15:24:00.003-04:00

I took a walk today
To clear my head
Of the muddled thoughts inside
The sun warmed my face
The air purified my heart
The wind swept away my doubts
I am whole
I am me.

Ten on Tuesdays

2008-05-06T23:57:00.000-04:00

1. I'm not a church person. I once was, but I like going to church in my head rather than as a social event. Not to mention, I'm not sure that my beliefs necessarily jive (yes, I said jive!) with most organized religions. As a New Yorker I have only attended church twice. I attempted to go once for Christmas Eve, but that didn't turn out as I planned. (Read more about that here.)
2. I felt a longing to be in a church today- so this afternoon I headed over to St Pat's on Fifth Ave to be with myself for a time before heading to work.
3. St Pat's is not exactly the most private choice for a church on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, but the wonderful thing is that because of tourists (wearing noisy shoes that flip-flop on the marble floors and taking an extaordinary amount of pictures) it is always available.
4. I was able to clear my head. It's been a tough few weeks (and days) and my mind has been craving a stimulation and a calming greater than I alone could provide.
5. What I love about the feeling of a church is that you know you aren't alone. And I don't mean that as I felt the presence of God (which I have in the past- that was not my truth today, however), but more that people come to church to BELIEVE in something beyond the self. That is what makes me feel good- that I take the time to pray or meditate and find within myself the keys to being better.
6. I really walked into that church wanting someone to tell me everything will work out, but the amazing thing is, the only person there who could convince me of that was me. It will work out because it has to.
7. I love meditation and I need to start doing it more often.
8. That calm place that you go to when meditating would be easier to find on a daily basis if I practiced more often.
9. I have these meditation CDs that I am going to sit with tomorrow.
10. Dad update- Thank you for all your well wishes! He has moved to the rehabilitation center yesterday where he will be for the next 6-8 weeks. I haven't spoken with him since Saturday (work and life got in the way) so I plan on talking with him tomorrow.

If you ever need encouragement...

2008-05-05T01:40:00.002-04:00

My dad has been fighting an antibiotic resistant strain of an infection for over a year. It basically created a hole in his leg and has been the main reason he has moved in and out of the nursing home the last year. The doctors have been worried that the infection would end up in his bone and then be harder to treat. Well, last Friday his leg (from just below the knee) was amputated. I was working and unable to go home which is a regret but when I spoke with him on Saturday he was in amazingly good spirits. Guess I have no room to complain- and the glass is always half full. He reminded me of that.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-04-30T23:43:00.001-04:00

I have the greatest mom! Check the link to read my previous post about her. It was a series called 30 days to 30. Before I turned thirty I wrote about something in my life for each year I have been alive. I could have written something about my mom for each year- she's that special of a lady. And today is her birthday! I love you mom and I can't wait for your visit in a few weeks. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Ten on Tuesdays

2008-04-29T23:55:00.009-04:00

1. I've been disappointed as of late in both my life and the political world unfolding around us. It has been hard to frame my thoughts without being to harsh on myself and others, so I refrained for awhile. Ten on Tuesday gives me a chance to point to those things without getting too emotional about them.
2. I am frustrated with my career. It's hard for me to admit that.
3. I feel like the game is happening on another field and I am a spectator and not a player.
4. It's not as easy as asking the coach to join the team. He demands to see me play first. The only problem is no one is willing to play with me because the coach won't vouch for me.
5. I am similarly frustrated with this absolutely asinine election where we define people by their associations (her husband/his pastor) without getting the whole story.
6. I want us to be better. Why not watch the whole sermon from beginning to end? Why not watch the entire National Press Club speech and questions from beginning to end? Why not watch the Bill Moyers interview with Jeremiah Wright from beginning to end? It is not the time to allow others to draw conclusions, state them as fact and then as a people blindly accept those conclusions as our own. We need to think for ourselves.
7. I am not asking that everyone agree with the statements made by Jeremiah Wright (I certainly don't agree with all of them), but if you watch all three of the previously mentioned videos, you may find yourself nodding in agreement from time to time. You may also find that you are offended, but at least it is you that is offended and not someone telling you you should be.
8. I know that Barack Obama came out again and denounced Jeremiah Wright's statements on Monday, but I don't think even he watched the entire thing. He said "he heard that Wright had given "a performance" and when he watched news accounts, he realized that it [was] more than just a case of the former pastor defending himself." (AP) I think it is sad that Obama clearly didn't watch the entire thing before commenting. For all the theatrics in the Reverend's statements there was a lot of value in his opening argument (what I heard and came away with from that portion was of a Black church focused on "liberation, transformation, and reconciliation." Nothing wrong with that. It was later during a string of questions and answers where we got the stranger side. Of course the media edited the material down to soundbites for the newscasts- that's how this whole thing began. And when you watch the entire thing you'll notice the first person to roll their eyes is the woman asking the questions.
9. I think I saw Cornel West in the audience at the National Press Club.
10. In my college philosophy class we read Cornel West's Race Matters. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.

Obviously...

2008-04-26T02:56:00.001-04:00

Not motivated to write. Not motivated to use complete sentences. More later.

Motivation

2008-04-21T08:33:00.002-04:00

It is amazing to me how capable of getting up early I am if I have to be at work and/or someone is counting on me, but if I have to get up for my own purposes or for an audition somehow my brain thinks it is optional and I hit the snooze and go back to sleep. I worked last night and didn't get home until after one and then I had to be up for work at my temp job at six this morning. I have to admit that I did hit the snooze once, but not getting out of bed was not an option. I want to be more self motivated, but in an industry where you often only answer to yourself, I'm not sure how to accomplish this. I need to change the way I think which is never an easy prospect. I put more emphasis on how others view me or my performance rather than demanding the best from myself purely because I want to be the best that I can. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I stand in a room pouring out my heart for two minutes hoping that they will like me enough to call me back. I need to take back some of the control I have handed over. My happiness and my success lie in my hands and mind and it is important. I will take better care to put myself first. Easy to say, harder to do, but I'm worth it.

Ten on Tuesday- Alright Wednesday...

2008-04-16T10:51:00.003-04:00

1. I'm waiting tables again. On my first night back a man actually said this to me. He was having dinner with his wife and two adolescent children (a boy and a girl). "Oh my God, it's a girl. I've never had a girl wait on me here. I've been coming for years." I replied, "Yeah, I know there haven't been a lot of us. It is a physically demanding restaurant. I've worked here on and off for the last six years" (note to self that is an incredibly long time. note to self, again, I'll leave the restaurant's name out of the blog just in case they are listening). He replied, "I can't believe it." And then he leaned over to look at my ass and then looked straight at my breasts and said, "Are those real?" And then he laughed and laughed while his wife and children looked hopeless and I contained my urge to punch him in the face!
2. Ahhhh! The delites of serving the public again...
3. I am trying to remind myself that I am there to do a job. I am there to make money. There is no need to make friends or waste my energy getting upset at the stupid things that happen in a restaurant.
4. It is officially spring here. The cherry blossoms in my neighborhood have opened up!
5. My apartment is a mess again. I'm not sure how that happened so quickly.
6. My website is complete. At least for the moment. I changed the Contact page because it was getting on my nerves. I love the picture from Walt's Inn (thanks Rissa), but I couldn't figure out what was bothering me so much about that page. Then I realized, it looked like a Myspace page. I love my Yeungling, but it looked a little like a college kid's attempt at a contact page. I want to come across as more professional than that.
7. Is it April 22nd yet?
8. I am debating going to see the Pope. I haven't been a Catholic in 14 years, but I think it might be cool to see him. Then again, it might just be a really huge gathering of people that I can't wait to get out of...
9. I ate a donut today.
10. After reviewing this post I realized it's as up and down emotionally as I feel right now. I'm not sure if I want to laugh or cry. What to do in this situation? I'm going to take a shower and then take a quick nap before I head back into the city.

Need Your Help

2008-04-12T15:09:00.012-04:00

I'm sorry that I haven't been writing much lately, but I have been trying to perfect my website before I add it to my resume. I have realized that it looks slightly different in Mozilla as compared to Internet Explorer. It is correct in IE and there are two alignment errors with background pictures and text boxes in Mozilla. I have not figured out how to correct this, but I am curious how the website looks when viewed with Apple's Safari (and any other browsers I am unaware of). So, anyone out there who wants to help and has Safari, please check out my website which is now http://www.musicaljodibeck.com/ and let me know if it looks alright with that browser. I would really appreciate any details on what may be wrong- once again, I have no idea how to fix it, but I want to at least know what the problems might be. Also, I would appreciate any feedback positive or negative in regard to my website- it's my first web design and I want to know what works and what doesn't. Just as a small sidenote, the backgrounds on the home page and the reviews page were pictures I took in Jamaica. The contact page photgraph was taken by Charissa at Walt's Inn in Baltimore while karaoking! And since I like them so much, I'm adding them to this post! I look forward to hearing from anyone with an opinion- which means all of you out there!

Black Sand Beach, St. Thomas, Jamiaca

The view from our hotel. St. Thomas, Jamaica

Singing New York State of Mind at Walt's Inn. Baltimore, Maryland

Brick Wall

2008-04-10T14:06:00.004-04:00

I've been hitting a brick wall, "but I believe....
... brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. They are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something." Randy Pausch

My New Website!!

2008-04-09T01:32:00.002-04:00

I am very excited to announce my very own website! I am still trying to work out a few kinks, namely that I registered jodibeck.com with google apps and I'm having a hell of a time redirecting. Please take a look and offer any suggestions (I am aware of obvious stuff so really let me know if you think I've got all the info I need)! Use this link to check it out! I will let you know when I get the domain straightened out. Until then the web address is really long and clumsy so it's best to head there through the above link! Enjoy!

Why

2008-04-04T17:03:00.005-04:00

I'm sure you are wondering why I have not written my blog since Tuesday, considering I have been sitting behind a desk and surfing the net for the last week. Well, it is a solid question, and I am going to attempt to answer it.
Why?
Sitting behind a desk and surfing the internet doesn't give me much to think about intellectually. Really my day is filled with thoughts of, "I wonder what kind of lunch is going to be in the kitchen?"- see there is a fully stocked kitchen on each floor and then people order food for meetings and all the extra ends up in the kitchen. Of course, I'm thinking of lunch as I am pouring myself a bowl of cereal from the 15 or so choices in the cabinet. And then, I am plotting out my trips to the bathroom (mostly because I drank too much coffee)- the only time I leave the desk, unless I am going to the kitchen. I have to say- I have shown great restraint. The only cereals I've allowed myself to have are Fiber One, Cracklin'Oat Bran, and Quaker Oat Squares. I try to stick with the salads and fruit for lunch. And I only allow myself water or coffee to drink. It's the dessert trays and the one person in this office who bought an unlimited supply of Girl Scout Cookies (Oh, Samoa's are sooooo good!!) that will kill you.
So, that's why. Don't worry, I'll return to being unemployed, broke, and thoughtful next week...

Ten on Tuesdays- Office Edition

2008-04-01T12:16:00.003-04:00

1. I don't own a lot of office attire. I like it that way, but when I am temping at the same place for two weeks, outfits get recycled. I kind of feel like I did in sixth grade when I only had one pair of jeans that fit me right. I put them on everyday hoping nobody would notice. One day I would peg them, the next day I wouldn't. I would even alternate folding down the waist- they were button fly. Unfortunately, it was sixth grade and everyone noticed.
2. My building ID is a funny picture. I didn't want to look too eager (I was trying to be sophisticated, I think), so I was smiling politely. The security guard that took the picture took a long time and there was no flash, so it looks like I am impatient and annoyed. Plus, as Mere pointed out, my earrings were really big.
3. I find that I have too much free time here. I am more motivated when I have a full day. When I know there will be five more hours of the same, I procrastinate.
4. I am amazed how few women work at the higher levels at this office (it's a big office, too). The women are primarily receptionists and administrative assistants.
5. I made it to two auditions this morning. This is impressive considering I have to be to work by 11:30 and auditions begin at 9:30. They went pretty well too!
6. I took a proofreading class on Sunday and actually enjoyed it. I am hoping to get in with a few agencies and then hopefully free-lance. I have to stay motivated (see #3).
7. I can feel the pull of restaurant work- I am a little too hyperactive to be comfortable sitting all day.
8. I'm not sure if I am allowed to, but I have been watching abc.com at work. I am almost up to date with Lost. This is also why I get nothing done here (see #3).
9. When I have jobs where they work me to the bone, I always dream of a job like this. Now that I have it, I wonder at the lack of responsibility I have and wish to be doing more. The grass is always greener.
10. In reality, this job is increasing my skill set (beyond asking, "Can I take your order?") and enabling me to stay rested and focused on my career. The trouble is, what am I going to do next week? I don't know that I can live with such uncertainty...

Look Down

2008-03-29T12:43:00.007-04:00

I walked to the gym from work yesterday. Cold, windy, and gray as it was it was still enjoyable. I work on Park Avenue in between 41st and 40th streets and my gym (Bally's) is near 8th Avenue and 50th street. In my mind, if I have the time, it seems pretty foolish to take the train when I'm going to the gym to sweat anyway! So, I walked along 41st street heading west toward the main branch of the NYC Library. You would recognize it by the stone lions out front. All along 41st street are plaques incorporated into the sidewalk with quotes about and from books and other writing. It's something I have walked past many times without stopping to read. It crosses my mind to read them, but I'm on my way somewhere and stopping to read the sidewalk usually isn't the best use of my time. As I passed over them yesterday I thought, "Okay, I am going to randomly stop and read one of these." This is the one I read.

"All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened and after you are finished reading one you will feel that all that happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you; the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse, and sorrow, the people and the places and how the weather was. If you can give that to people, then you are a writer. Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961), "Old Newsman Writes," Esquire December 1934

Let's Start Talking

2008-03-27T14:59:00.007-04:00

I just watched the speech that Barack Obama gave on race in Philadelphia. It was brilliant, and I feel called to write. It is important for us all to talk about discrimination in all its forms. How do I personally feel about race in America? I will say that as a white woman I am very rarely called to examine my whiteness. In fact, I am curious how many white people think about their race at all unless they are filling out some survey that asks or if they are a part of a rare conversation about race. I am often called, though, by myself and society to examine my place in that society based on gender. When men whistle at me from across the street, when men comment on my body as I pass them, when I wake up in the morning and have to decide how to dress and most importantly when I see a man being paid more for the same job, I am forced to view myself not first as my consciousness perceives me, but as the world sees me- a woman. My gender informs my consciousness it does not define it. I can only imagine that is how life is for most black people in America. They are viewed first as black and then as whole individual they truly are. Let's be honest it's easy to do. When you meet someone or pass them on the street your mind discerns whatever information it can. Color and gender are two easy things to pick up. It is only when assumptions are made based on that discernment that problems exist. We live in a male- dominated and white- dominated patriarchy- there are assumptions made about race and gender all the time that society at large does not call into question. For example, I held a job where I know I was paid less than a man who was doing the same job. But, wait, it wasn't the same job, I was in a sort of management position. Now, when it comes to money in the office there is a unspoken rule against asking your coworkers how much money they make. But, the reality is the "rule" is in place so we don't find out how much disparity there is between colleagues doing the same work. Why is it easier to pay a man more money for the same job? Well, let's look at the reasons. A man is saving for his future and the future of his family (and even if he doesn't have a family, he will someday, so it would behoove you to pay him well now. After all it's for the betterment of society to have well established financially stable families). A woman, on the other hand, even if she has a family probably needs the money to buy shoes. This disparity is further promoted by our government in the way that the Supreme Court recently ruled on equal pay and the Congress failed to pass legislation in reaction to the ruling. The woman who brought the suit against her employer had worked there for years not knowing that a disparity existed. She was probably following the "rule" to not ask colleagues how much they were making. She found out after years of service to the company that the difference was quite significant. She filed a claim against the company. The Supreme Court ruled that a claim must be filed against an employer within a 180 day time frame from the point at which the discrimination occurred. So, basically when you are hired to do a job or promoted you have 180 days to interview/ interrogate all the other employees with the same job duties as you. Once you find out the information (hopefully it didn't take all 180 days) you should head directly to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and file a charge against the company instead of heading to your HR department where you might get the answers you would like and probably not ruffle quite as many feathers. Good luck with that. How did my story end? It ended the way I'm sure thousands of women and minority people's do. I intended on saying something all along, but when confronted with the actual asking I risked losing a job that I thought I desperately needed at the time. I did ask for more money for one project where the responsibility completely laid with me and I got it, but not before I was berated on how my boss that his bills were four times what mine are (Yes, he said this, and I about fell out of my chair). I decided after this conversation that I would not say anything and leave the company not having ruffled feathers. Because I am an actor (actress) I have to have many jobs that I can go back to after I finish a show. No one company can guarantee me my slot back when the show is over, so I have tried to build a net for myself. This job with all its quirks is one of those in the net. Conclusion: No feathers ruffled, but the ones on my own broke behind.
I started this discussion with my own story because I think it illustrates how easily discrimination can occur and how hard it is to stand up. What happened in the 50s, 60s and 70s in America in relation to race and gender was that people stood up, they talked, and things changed. We have succumbed to being an America that is frightened of talking about issues of race and gender. It isn't polite conversation and really things are better. This is true things are better, but as Barack Obama so brilliantly put it "This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected."
Tell your story. Make it personal. Show the world that disparities exist in the hope that once we are no longer ignorant of other's suffering we may all come to love our neighbor as we love ourselves and respect one another because we are capable of understanding.

Barbados

2008-03-26T13:16:00.020-04:00

Chapter 2- Travel
So once we got through the drama at the check-in counter it was easy sailing through security to wait for our plane. As we waited an American Airlines representative came over the loudspeaker and informed us that there would only be food for purchase in the main cabin during our five hour flight. This was the first international flight that I have ever taken where they did not provide food. The food's never that great anyway, but it's still pretty ridiculous. So we slept while the plane flew us south to Barbados. After getting our bags and heading through Customs we went to find our rental car. The woman who met us had no accent, which was kind of sad because when I travel somewhere new I like to hear as much of the accent as I can. We asked her for directions to the hotel. She would be the first in series of people who would tell us all the ways to get there. We were to go straight through the roundabout and then make a left at the gas station, a left where the road T's and then a right (somewhere...). Once we had gotten off the main road the directions seemed to no longer make sense. Needless to say after the first left we stopped two older women who were walking up the hill to ask for directions. I loved this lady. She had an accent and talked in a really high pitched voice. She said, "You go straight down dis hill, and so. Den, you turn right, and so. Den you see signs for de Silver Sands, and so, and you follow dem, and so." I was so caught up in the way she sounded I was barely listening to what she was actually saying. It also is very funny to me that everyone who gave us directions the entire week loved to use the word straight. None of the roads were quite straight, especially the ones with ninety degree turns in them, but it made us laugh. We headed down the hill and after the few turns we didn't see any signs, so we stopped and asked a young girl who was obviously on her way home from school. She didn't know how to get there, but she offered to call her dad. He told us to go straight (of course) and then head left toward the water. We thanked them and made it to the Silver Sands Beach which was not our hotel, but we knew we were nearby. We pulled up to the beach and asked the Park Manager how to find the hotel. Luckily it was up the hill and around the corner. Whew! We finally made it! We received a map of the island from the front desk and here we learned that the government had only recently started a sign campaign to mark all the streets on the island in 2007. I think that the people who live there have made it this long without signs, they'll continue giving directions by landmark instead of street name. I think it should be part of the experience to ask the locals for help. It sure made my day.
Chapter 3- Vacation Begins
After we got our room key we headed around to our building and there I saw my first and only monkey. Yes, I said it, a MONKEY!!!! He crossed the road in front of us and I about fell out of the jeep. It was to be the only monkey we saw all week, and I never got a picture of him. Until now I had only ever seen monkeys in zoos. I think I might have even clapped my hands and screamed! Yes, I know, I'm a big kid, but it's fun to experience new things and it reminds you that life is never truly redundant- there is something new always. I like to view the world through the inquisitive eyes of a grownup child...
We dropped our bags and headed to the bar on the beach for beer and food. We hadn't eaten since we left the airport. Did I mention that American Airlines didn't even give us peanuts or pretzels? We were hungry. Unfortunately we had just missed the snack time (when you stay at a resort you are kind of beholden to some weird retirement home schedule). But, it was tea time and so we had some cake and Banks Beer to tide us over until dinner. I walked down to the beach and sat watching the waves and the sunset, while drinking my beer. A local guy, Owen, walked up to me and chatted with me. I could barely understand him, but he was nice enough to give me some suggestions for fun things to do. He suggested Oistins and St. Lawrence Gap. I headed back up to the bar where Jeff and Andrea (the bride and groom) were sitting with Ob. They were coming to check that we made it in okay. After they left we had dinner at the restaurant at the resort. The food was good, but the portions were small. I know, I know, American portions are out of control, but we ordered a calamari appetizer and there were only five pieces. They were really good and I was about to eat off my arm before they came, so we really could only laugh. I had seafood crepes as my main dish and it was yummy. Ob had baked chicken and it was also good- he's so nice to share with me.
The next morning we went to the beach and swam, I read my book and then we waited for Jeff to come by to show us around. The drive to the main road was so easy, I laughed at how difficult it had been for us to get there the day before. Jeff drove us to Miami Beach, Oistins, St. Lawrence Bay and into town- the capital city, Bridgetown. Navigating the island is actually pretty straight forward. If you want to head toward Bridgetown, you follow the bus stop signs that say, "Into city." If you are heading away, the bus stop signs say, "Out of city." I guess the only real problem is that if you know you are going out of the city there are a lot more directions to head.
Later Ob and I drove ourselves to Oistins for dinner. The fish comes right off the boat to the market where they scale it and sell it to the vendors on the street. We sat down at Mo's and ordered flying fish, rice, and macaroni, and of course beer! It was delicious. The fish was so fresh it melted in my mouth. We ended up having dinner with Owen (the guy from the beach) who passed by and recognized me. That was interesting. Later we drove over to the gap where we walked around and ended up at Jumbie's for more beer, music and dancing. When the DJ really started it was so much fun. He played the hits from the 90s and Ob laughed at me while I sang all the words to Humpty Dance. Then he played Reggae hits from when Ob was growing up and we danced and danced. It was a blast!
Friday we were determined to get a real Bajan breakfast. I was really looking forward to some Ackee and salt-fish. But, we would come to find out it is not an easy meal to find. Most places that serve breakfast, serve American or English style. Jeff came and picked us up. We had to go to the country with the chef for the reception and pick up some things from Andrea's mom's house. Before we headed up we got fishcakes, beer and tamarinds (a really well-rounded meal!). It was fun to watch the guys barter at the vegetable and fruit stand and generally give the ladies there a hard time, but I think they enjoyed the attention. Andrea's house was in St. Joseph so we all piled into the Jeep and raced up and down hills. Once we picked up the things we needed and I visited with the pigs and goats, we headed back down to town. We got our lunch from Chefette, a Bajan fast food chain and took it back to the beach to eat. We had Roti and coconut ice cream and I had a Red Juicee and Ob had Maubi. I tried it and it's good, but it really has a strong after taste exactly like you imagine bark to taste like.

Chapter 4- The Wedding
On Saturday morning we woke up and were planning on heading to the beach, but there were some other wedding guests at our hotel (Keano and Ollie and their son Ky and Ollie's sister Lisa) and we ended up showing them around. We went in search of breakfast and ended up going to Edith's Coffee House. I have never seen it take so long to get breakfast together, but it really was funny to laugh about how slowly the island moves. There was this nice lady there who asked us why we were all in town and then offered to guide us to the church and the reception hall so that we wouldn't get lost when we were on our own later that day (Jeff had shown us the way to the church, but as you can already guess the directions were a bit muddled in our heads). So, we followed her all the way to town in search of the Church. All of us had pieces of information, but no one was really clear about where we were headed. We got turned around again and again until we ended up calling to get the name of the Church and eventually found it and then headed back to the hotel in enough time to shower and change. The wedding started at three. Ob and Keano were joking that they bet the wedding wouldn't start on time. I had never heard of that happening, but I guess it happens a lot in the islands. We were on the road and who should pass by but Jeff who waved to us and signaled that the wedding would be starting at four. Good thing because it was almost three and the groom was still on the road not wearing his suit. When we got to the church we found out that both the bride and groom weren't there. We all sat there waiting until after four. Ob and Keano were joking that Jeff probably got cold feet, but they all arrived and the wedding was beautiful. Then we headed to the reception, it was almost sunset and it was gorgeous. We had a lot of fun.
The next morning we headed down to the beach for our last time and swam and took pictures. We headed to breakfast at Cafe Luna with Keano and his family. It was great to sit around the table and eat with our new friends talking. We walked a bit around Oistins and then headed to the airport. It was a beautiful way to end our vacation.

Epilogue- American Airlines
American Airlines is jokey. When we got on the plane to head back to NYC the seats in the center next to us were destroyed and had do not use signs on them. They were also covered in brown electrical tape to keep people off of them. I have never seen anything like it and we joked and laughed about how horribly managed they must be to not offer any food and to have seats that look like a giant bowled them over. I cannot figure how this happened...

Ten (I mean 19) on Tuesday- Barbados Photo Story

2008-03-25T11:48:00.003-04:00

Of course I couldn't pick just ten- I tried, but it was impossible. They are not in chronological order. Also, check back for the next chapters of our Bajan vacation. So, take a moment to see what we saw. Enjoy the view.

1. Ob's picture of the moss covered rocks on the beach at our hotel-
Silver Sands Resort, Christ Church Parrish.

2. The view from breakfast our last morning in Barbados from the Little Arches Hotel
on Miami Beach. It was a beautiful place.

3. Miami Beach, Barbados. Jeff's (the groom) mom lives around the corner from this spot.

4. OB enjoying the water.
The current was strong and the waves were pretty high.

5. Oh No- a shark?! This picture makes me laugh.
It looks like the guy on the boogie board is coming after me.

6. Just hanging out.

7. This was the view around the corner from our hotel.

8. Sunset. Beautiful. I can't say anything else.

9. Andrea's (the Bride) mom raises pigs in the country about an hour or so out of town in St. Joseph Parish.

10. I think he's smiling for the camera.

11. Ob's picture of the rocks on the beach just after sunset. He really has a keen eye for interesting subjects. There would be more pictures from this night except that my camera's battery died- Oops! (I almost ruined vacation).

12. The bride and groom as they make their entrance to the reception.

13. Me and Odelle outside the reception hall.

14. The ocean in the morning. It calms me.

15. I thought this was The George Washington House, which has an interesting history. It is the only place outside the US our first President ever visited. But after looking on the Internet I found that this was not that building. It was near the army barracks in Bridgetown, the capital city.

16. View from the Jeep. An old building in Bridgetown.

17. Banks Beer, the drink of choice on the island of Barbados.

18. Morning on the beach.

19. One last reminder of the magnitude and beauty of the world around us.

Barbados - Chapter 1- The Airport

2008-03-24T13:53:00.009-04:00

Our journey began on Wednesday morning. We headed to JFK at around 7am for our 950am flight on American Airlines (one jokey airline if you ask me- more to come on that later). We had to stand in a long line to check in because you can only use the automated check in if you have the new passport with the computer chip in it. So there we stood right behind the most lovely family- Dave (dad), Leslie (mom), and Amanda (daughter). Names have been changed to protect the not-so innocent. Dave was a portly, short, balding and unattractive man in his early forties with a mouth like a sailor. Leslie, was a slight, unassuming, awkward woman who, we learned, is a stay at home mom. Obviously, Leslie somehow caused them to leave late for the airport and Dave spent the entire time in line swearing at her (without raising his voice) in front of all of us and his daughter, Amanda, who looked to be about 11 or 12 years old, from her prepubescent awkwardness. They had missed their flight and it was all Leslie's fault. Leslie looked straight ahead of her and for the most part kept her mouth shut tight. The only time she spoke was to agree that she had ruined vacation. Amanda continually switched her allegiance between mother and father. She was an uncomfortable child to behold. She seemed like she wanted to laugh at the way her father was speaking to her mother and then she would occasionally whimper like a baby. Often she would lean her head on her mother's arm only in the next instant to stamp her foot and say you ruined vacation. I told OB later that I couldn't believe that Leslie never once said, "Drop it," (a favorite of my mom's) or "Can we have this conversation in private." You have to understand that this conversation continued pretty much non-stop during our 40 minutes on line. I continually looked Dave in the eye and glared at him. This jokey guy was not deterred. I was amazed at this guy's absolute inability to let things go. He would be silent for a few moments and then start up as if he had never stopped, the F-word of course being his favorite expletive. At one point Dave said, "If we don't get on another flight today you can forget about coming home with us. [Pause for dramatic effect] Well, I guess you'll have to come home because where would you live? But the next F*&^ing vacation I am choosing where we go, when and for how long and you will just have to F&^%ing deal with it. And maybe I should make you get a job so you F&^%ing understand." I know what I would have said, "Honey, you are absolutely right. I have ruined vacation and I deserve to go back home alone. Why don't you and Amanda get on that flight without me." Then I would have taken my bags, hopped in a cab and enjoyed the week in the perfect silence of my own mind.
Lucky for me I won't ever be a Leslie and I was heading far from the craziness of New York to the lovely shores of Barbados to enjoy a fabulous vacation with my wonderful guy!

Ten On Tuesdays

2008-03-18T17:46:00.005-04:00

1. I have not packed yet for Barbados and I leave tomorrow morning- early. I really shouldn't be writing this but I couldn't help myself.
2. Tanning went well. I went three times and I didn't get burnt or get any sun poisoning or rash. Here's to five days in the sun with this continued success.
3. I was training at a new company for the last two days. I can't tell you about it because it is a private company. This brings me a tinge of sadness because I have so many observations....
4. I kind of like the business atmosphere. I fit into it well, but I am sure the novelty will wear off as the days go by and the monotony sets in.
5. I was thinking about escalators. They are a huge environmental waste. I was in Macy's last night and I realized as I was standing behind a lazy person who wouldn't walk up the escalator that they are always on. (I read in Time that England started a campaign to get people to walk up the escalators instead of just riding them to increase heart rate and to promote healthy living- I thought it was a great idea and so if I have to take the escalator then I always walk up. FYI- the Tube is notorious for having the trains stories below the ground so walking up the escalators is a pretty big commitment). Anyway, someone (me) should come up with a motion/human activated escalator. Just think how many escalators run all day and night and how often they are carrying no passengers.
6. I like a revolving door. I especially like it when someone is entering the opposite side at the same time as me. We are helping each other to get somewhere. It's a brief communal experience.
7. Have I mentioned that I am going to Barbados???!!!!!! I am so excited I can hardly stand it.
8. Charissa is doing the "Eat everything in your cupboard before going shopping again" thing. I really want to try it, so maybe when I get back. I'm sure it saves some money, but I'm also sure that you have to eat food which is questionable in either nutrition or age. It will make me ask the questions, "What bizarre mood was I in when I bought that?" and "What can I possibly cook this with to make it edible?"
9. I bought two books for the trip: Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain.
10. OB bought the CD of Hal Holbrook's staging of Mark Twain's stage appearances. It's super cool and I think Hal Holbrook is brilliant. The disc set came with a Mark Twain sayings daily calender and when I was at Border's looking for vacation reading I saw Huckleberry Finn and knew I had to read it again. It has been since the ninth grade and I loved it. I can't wait to love it again.

Yay Target!

2008-03-16T11:50:00.002-04:00

I love Target! My digital camera broke when I dropped it. This is a typical problem that I have with electronics (oh, and glassware). I think gravity is stronger around me. I have been without a camera for about 6 months and Target had this awesome special for a Kodak EasyShare 10 mega pixel for $99 this past week. By Wednesday none of the Targets in Brooklyn or Queens had the camera in stock, so Barbara (who I worked with at the studio) suggested that I call the Jersey location near her house. They had three left and she called her parents (who are retired) and they went and picked it up for me!!! I am so excited to be able to have pictures on my blog again. I am more excited that I will have a really good camera for Barbados. Check back for pictures next week (I leave on Wednesday)!

Book Report The Life of Pi

2008-03-15T11:57:00.000-04:00

It was about two years ago that I first picked up The Life of Pi by Yann Martel. It's amazing what a difference time makes. I didn't realize that I had been so stressed out that I couldn't even concentrate on reading a really good book (I kept thinking it was the book- it was boring and difficult to get into. Nothing could be further from the truth). There is an ease to this book. It reads quickly and often makes you stop and ponder its philosophy. I love that. It follows the fateful journey of a young man (Pi) from his home in India to his new home in Canada. His father is a zookeeper in India and Pi is a child who ponders the great questions of life, finding himself at the Mosque, the Catholic Church and the Hindu Temple each week. Because of the political uprisings in India, Pi's father decides to move the family to Canada. They board a Japanese ship and that is where the story really begins. The ship is wrecked and Pi is the only survivor. We follow him on a lifeboat across the Pacific while he wrestles with life and death and the meaning of it all. Once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. I was reading it every moment I had and finding that I wanted to ride past my stop on the train just so I wouldn't have to put it down.

Just to Clarify

2008-03-13T22:23:00.003-04:00

I do not hate Hillary. I have voted for her twice for New York Senator. I think she's a great Senator. I don't think she's the best candidate for president. And her campaign style is a bit outdated and it frustrates me. I just felt the need to clarify. I think that no matter who you are voting for, when they revert to fear tactics in a campaign you should be leery of them. Trying to scare people into voting for you is not justifiable. It wasn't justifiable when Bush/Cheney did it in 2004 and it is even less justifiable now.

Ten on Tuesday

2008-03-11T22:55:00.003-04:00

1. I have an ear infection. Please tell me you know what I should do for the pain. I know exactly when the ibuprofen has worn off and the right side of my face begins to ache.
2. I love Perogies. They aren't the most balanced food in the world, but when it hurts to chew and swallow, they are perfect and yummy!
3. I am going to Barbados!!!! Just one week away.
4. I am going tanning a few times before next week so that I don't end up with sun poisoning or a burn. It's been awhile since this pale girl saw the sun.
5. I have to buy a dress for the wedding- that's why we're going. A friend of OB's is getting married.
6. I have to find a job for when I get back. I think it might be waiting tables at least until I replenish my bank account. I can do it for awhile... i guess.
7. I miss my mom.
8. I owe you all two book reports (The Life of Pi and Jesusland), two theatre reviews (Sunday in the Park with George and August: Osage County), and a movie review (La Vie En Rose)
9. I have been working so much and then I got sick that I never wrote about these things. It has been an amazing two weeks when it comes to the art and literature I have been exposed to.
10. God, I need to get a show....

Come On

2008-03-08T00:14:00.002-05:00

I know I'm a little late when it comes to the "red phone" hoopla, but alas I do not have a TV so I had not seen the video until I decided I had read enough articles where it was referenced, but not fully explained that I promptly headed to You Tube to catch myself up.
I am a Democrat, and usually proud to make that statement. After watching this video I am all riled up and angry. Come on Hillary! The Hollywood voice over guy predicting impending doom, the ominous phone that continually rings and the incessant reference to the safety of the children all in the attempt to say, "You won't be safe in America if anyone else is running the country. Vote for me." This is disgusting. Why are we seeing something straight from the Bush/Cheney playbook? The politics of fear only weakens us as a party, but more importantly divides us as a people. We take it up and we are no better than that which we hope to replace. Regardless of who becomes president it is so important for us as Americans to be able to turn the page of history away from fear and cynicism and toward the brighter future that we can attain only through hope and cohesiveness. This ad is embarrassing.

Joanne

2008-03-04T00:46:00.003-05:00

My friend Joanne was hanging out with her boyfriend the other day. She doesn't particularly like politics and chooses to stay out of it. I know, you are surprised that a friend of mine doesn't enjoy politics, but I am very glad to call Joanne a great friend. [Seemingly incongruous side thought here:] She and I met at the strangest audition I have ever had in this city to date. I had met a friend of hers (Karen) at UPTA's (United Professional Theatre Auditions) in Memphis. Well, we decided to hit auditions together in the city, too. So we arrive to this audition for a summer theatre and I met Joanne. We were told by the monitor that we would be going into the room fifteen at a time. Weird, we all thought, but we'll go along with it. So Karen, Joanne and I filed into the room with twelve other girls. We were all taught a 3 to 4 pitch phrase of three different songs. Then we were asked to choose which phrase we would like to sing and then we each sang it individually going down the line. Our choices were Freddy My Love (from Grease), Home (from Yeston and Kopit's Phantom) and something from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Now, when I tell you that we sang three or four pitches a piece (which translates to three or four words as well), I'm not kidding. It was ridiculous! Then to top it off they made a cut from that "audition" and the three of us were cut. So we went to a Mexican restaurant around the corner and preceded to drink margaritas in the middle of the afternoon. Needless to say, we became great friends.
Okay, so back to the night this past weekend when she and her boyfriend were hanging out. Joanne is working out to be in a fitness competition so when she got the munchies she started eating broccoli and somehow her mind turned to Barack Obama. So, she knows I'm a fan and she knew that I would appreciate her humor/ ingenuity. If you agree, go buy this tshirt at cafepress.com using this link. I kind of love it.

15 minutes

2008-02-29T23:45:00.005-05:00

Just in case any of you ladies out there read my blog in the next fifteen minutes, you have until midnight to follow the folk tradition of proposing to a man on this the last fifteen minutes of the leap year!!! I think I might buck this tradition, but it does sound a bit fun... or a least a little risqu'e (in 19th century terms, of course)...

Busy Bee

2008-02-27T22:24:00.004-05:00

I have been working and auditioning like a fool. Basically, I am stopping by my blog on my way to bed. I have no thoughts or ideas that would benefit the world at this moment, but as soon as my life slows down (and believe me it will in a week and a half) I will tell you all what I'm thinking and feeling. Until then I really can say only "goodnight," and "do you know anyone who would hire me to do administrative/design/creative work that will allow me to not only pay my bills, but also let me leave during the day to audition? (And since I'm already putting it out there, can I please have a job that challenges me?)" I know, I know I'm demanding, but I have to believe these jobs exist and that I won't be forced against my will to wait tables again. I tried to take a proofreading class, but it was cancelled... do I have bad day job Karma?

Government Expediency

2008-02-21T23:58:00.002-05:00

Yes, the title of this blog is unbelievable, but more unbelievable is that in my case it is true. I mailed my passport renewal and name change in last Friday. I asked (and paid) for the expedited service because it can take up to six weeks to get a passport. I am going to Barbados in four weeks. Hence, the reason why I paid for the expedited service. Anyway, I was looking at my bank account online and noticed that the check for my passport has already been cashed. I thought, "There is no way they work that fast, but I guess they must process the check before they complete the task." I then headed to the US State department website to check the status of my passport application (It's cool that you can check up on them by providing a few details). Now, hold on to your seats...

My application has been processed and my new passport (with my new, old name) will be mailed on or before February 23. In less than a week which included a national holiday, our notoriously bogged down and bureaucracy ridden government processed and mailed my passport. I am amazed! Now let's see how the US Postal Service does...

Ten on Tuesdays- Catch Up Edition

2008-02-19T21:39:00.010-05:00

1. Time flies when you're having fun. Ok, really, time just flies. Can you believe we are halfway through February already?

2. I went to Vegas last week for my job, but I went with Meredith. Having a friend in Vegas definitely makes it more bearable. We worked our butts off for two days, but then we had two days to relax. I gambled $25. I know, chump change, but gambling makes me nervous. I don't like thinking about all the money I could win because it's the same as not thinking about all the money you could lose. The ideas go hand in hand, but the "positive" one always seems to overshadow the realistic one. Winning money begets greed. I was up five dollars at one point and then continued to play and lost it all telling myself, "I was up once, I can get there again."

3. The cocktail waitresses at the Rio were wearing lingerie as their uniform (a black negligee and a black thong with black heels- most chose to wear pantyhose too). I know, they don't have to work there, but on my last night I finally saw a man cocktail serving and what was he wearing you ask- black dress pants and a button down collared shirt that had the first two buttons unbuttoned. Seems a bit skewed to me.

4. The Friday I left for Vegas (which was one and a half days after I sent the letter) I was contacted by a customer service representative at my bank. He apologized to me over and over and said that the bank wanted to do everything in their power to make me happy. I had already been refunded the $15. They gave me totally free checking for life (or as long as I have the account)! Pretty cool. I kind of wanted to fight for all the others who have been charged the egregious fee, but I realized that you have to pick your battles in order to win the war.

5. I voted for Barack Obama in the February 5th New York primary.

6. I foresee a few problems for the Democrats as they move forward in this crazy election.

7. As Obama or Hillary Clinton attempt to clinch the nomination, they are going to begin attacking one another. I really don't see any other way they can differentiate themselves because their platforms are quite similar. It has already begun. But, because they have the Party to think of, this of course is manifesting itself in petty arguments. "Mommy, mommy, she's trying to cheat." "No I'm not, no I'm NOT. He's changing the rules in the middle of the game. It's not fair....." and on and on it will go until they both lose some credibility. Not to mention bringing the party back together once one of them is declared the winner only becomes more difficult as time goes on.

8. If Clinton becomes the nominee I think that this primary will hurt her most. She already has a group of people who dislike her within the party and outside it. I think she will have a harder time recovering from it. If it becomes a knock out fight the conclusions people have already drawn about Clinton will be harder to shed.

9. The fact that the DNC decided that Florida's and Michigan's delegates won't count is ridiculous. But more ridiculous is that the ballots were even printed with the Democratic candidates' names on them. If you aren't going to count them, and you aren't going to allow the candidates to campaign there, why would you allow the ballots to be printed and then used in voting? Really, if you are going to disenfranchise people you gotta go all the way. Come on DNC, you look a bit amateurish. Were you paying attention during the 2000 and 2004 elections? You should have learned how to accomplish this task definitively. Kudos to Michigan who almost got there by having only Hillary Clinton on the ballot. And a sidebar to the Clinton campaign: If you are still confused how someone can show up to vote and decide to make a statement by not voting for or against you only have to look at Michigan where 44% of Democrats voted present. Oh I'm sorry, I mean uncommitted.

10. It's easy to see how John Stewart and Stephen Colbert make all their money making fun of and poking fun at this ridiculous thing we call a democracy, because it is more like a soap opera.

Been Away

2008-02-15T00:29:00.002-05:00

I was in Vegas for the last week- UGH! I promise to write this weekend. I have lots to talk about- the election, more observations on Vegas, and my bank contacted me last week regarding my letter. All will come soon, I promise. Right now I have to sleep- I'm still trying to get back to the eastern time zone...

Straight to the Top

2008-02-06T23:56:00.000-05:00

Sometimes to get things done, you have to go straight to the top. Here is a letter I wrote via an online letter format (the only way I could find to lodge a complaint) that I addressed to the Office of the Chairman of the bank that I have my checking account with. FYI- when I opened the account it was free checking. We'll see if this letter makes it to these guys at all...

Dear Office of the Chairman, [I actually addressed it to the three people that are the Office of the Chairman, but I thought I'd give them an opportunity to respond to my complaint before I publish their names.]

I recently noticed a cycle fee on my account. As this had never happened before I called the customer service number to find out what it meant. The person I spoke with was nice enough to refund the fee- this time... But, what I found out from this representative highly disappoints me. I have appreciated [this] Bank so much since I became a customer. I tell all my friends and family what a cool, forward thinking bank you are. I think it is absolutely ridiculous that you have a fee for checking accounts that go below $100. I understand from the person I spoke to that you changed this policy after acquiring another bank last year. If you were as forward thinking as I thought, you would have made those banks like you, rather than becoming the type of bank I have been attempting to avoid. Let me please tell you the immoral flaw in this charge. Normal people use checking accounts to pay bills and to live their day to day lives. Not that I should have to explain myself, but I went below $100 in my account because I was dropped from my health insurance and had to begin paying for it out of pocket. I didn't overdraft and I didn't do anything wrong- I was just broke for a week. It seems completely insensitive, not to mention downright greedy to take from those with the least to fatten your own wallets. I am sure that there are many people who have found themselves in similar situations who have not had the ability to voice their grievances with you. I pray that you and your families never see your accounts below $100. It is not an easy place to be and I more fervently hope that you see the error in your ways and return to banking in a way by which I can be proud to say I am your customer.

Irish Car Bomb

2008-02-03T23:59:00.000-05:00

I am only posting this because my mom asked...
An Irish car bomb (that is its full, probably not PC, title) is a half shot of Jameson's (Irish) whiskey, half shot of Bailey's (Irish) cream, which you drop into half a pint of Guiness (Irish beer) and drink in one gulp. It needs to be served pretty quickly after it's been poured because the Bailey's will curdle if it sits too long...

Weird Behavior

2008-01-30T23:17:00.000-05:00

I didn't show up for my shift at the bar- I tried to call, but the number I had was no longer in service. Yes, I just made an excuse for a "no call- no show." I can hardly believe that I did it, but the thought of setting foot in that bar to work from 7pm to 430am just made me crazy. I couldn't do it and it is so out of character for me to not care that I put people out. Okay, I care. Obviously. I am writing about it...
But, the only person that can truly take care of me is me. It is for the best. A few things I realized from my two weeks working two jobs in a Ten on Tuesday- Wednesday Edition:
1. 180 hours of work in two weeks is possible, but beyond exhausting.
2. I was spoiled at Serendipity when it came to money.
3. People (particularly those between the ages of 21 and 35) do awful things to their bodies between the hours of 7pm and 4am.
4. I now know what a car bomb is and I never want to try it.
5. When you cocktail waitress you can get away with saying things you could never say in a restaurant, including calling a guy a f%^#ing a%#hole. It's amazing what happens when you don't sleep and someone makes fun of you.
6. The people who stay at the bar until closing are usually the strangest people. I've been one of them, and I'm gonna try not to be ever again.
7. I met a guy that was an Afghanistan war veteran. He is bi-polar (a diagnosis he told me he was given) and an alcoholic. Through a few hours waiting on this guy I can see how men (and women) who fight wars end up homeless.
8. Lack of sleep heightens your emotions (all of them, in fact- even ones you thought you were incapable of feeling).
9. Trying to pretend that you aren't working all night long(bar job) and then coming into work(day job) with bloodshot eyes doesn't work. There are only so many times that you can say you have something in your eyes.
10. Paying for your health insurance with a second job is silly if it compromises the health you are attempting to insure.

Flashback Friday...uhhh... Sunday

2008-01-20T20:18:00.000-05:00

So I've been thinking a lot about singing lately. I know you're thinking, of course, Jodi, you must think about singing all the time. I don't. I used to. But I don't. Now if I think about singing it is more like what 16 or 32 bars do I want to sing for this audition or that audition. Or, Oh god, I have to sing a new song for class (by the way I am starting class again tomorrow and I took a fabulous master class with Victoria Clark today- more later). Anyway, because I want to put together a cabaret, I have been thinking about a time that I sang for fun and enjoyed every moment of it. Hence, the flashback:
I used to sing everything from, "Please pass the butter" to "I have to pee!" But the singing I remember most was at night in the bedroom that I shared with my sister, Jenny. We would be laying in our single beds and instead of saying our prayers we would sing the Lord's Prayer the way they taught it to us at the hippie Catholic church we would sometimes go to when we missed Mass at our church. We were always late to Mass. Dad always said that if we made it before Communion we would be forgiven. Jenny and I loved to sing it together. I think it sometimes annoyed our brothers and our mom, so we would just sing it louder. Jenny was my favorite singing partner...

Whew!- The Longest Week Ever!

2008-01-18T23:36:00.000-05:00

I am exhausted. I'll give you a brief rundown of my week and then you'll understand why I haven't written in a week. And in perfect exhausted fashion, I will write my "Flashback Friday," tomorrow (Saturday).
Week in Review....
Monday: Went to work at the studio from 10am to 6pm.
Went to Astoria to start my first night of training at the Pub I told you about (late shift 7pm-430am)
Tuesday:Took a gypsy cab home from the bar ($14).
Slept for three hours.
Drank far too much coffee.
Went to work at the studio from 10am-6pm.
Went to Astoria to start my second night of training (7am-430am)
Wednesday: Took an off duty yellow cab home from the bar ($14- he couldn't turn on the meter because he was off duty so I just paid him what I paid the guy the night before).
Slept for three hours.
Drank even more coffee (Did I mention that I had hoped to cut down on my caffeine consumption for the New Year?)
Went to work at the studio from 10am-6pm.
If I drank coffee, I don't remember- I am amazed that I was functioning so well. The body is an amazing thing, even when you abuse it.
Went to Astoria for my third night of training (7pm-5am- I had to cash out on my own so it took a little while longer and there was this jokey girl** at the bar until 420am so I had to stay a bit longer).
Thursday: Took a yellow cab home (I was his first fare of the day. It only cost 9.50, so I tipped extra and realized I would negotiate better the next time I get in a gypsy cab).
Slept for 5 hours- I went into work late
Worked at the studio from 1pm-11pm
Came home and hung out with Mere (she thinks she found an apartment, we have our fingers crossed!)
Friday: Slept for 6 1/2 hours.
Worked at the studio.
Went to the gym for my Fluidity class (It is sooooo awesome, I feel every muscle in my butt and thighs!)
Met my friend Jenn out for cocktails and dinner.
Home!- blogging and about to pass out!

** True story- The bar is on Ditmars between 36th and 37th street (my first apartment in NYC was on 37th, across the street). The last person in the bar was this jokey blond girl eating a salad she brought from somewhere else and drinking a water (to be fair, she had had a beer previously, but it was 415am and she was just drinking water). I was bitter. Tired and Bitter. We couldn't count money until she was gone. The bartender informs her of this fact and
She says: Oh my gawd! I am SOOOO soooorryyy! I need to call a car.
Bartender: Where do you live?
Girl (while scrolling her I-phone for the number): Nearby, but I DO NOT walk home alone. Bartender: J^%# will walk you home, but I'll have to get him.
Girl: (Earnestly) Give me the number here and I will walk home. If I don't call in ten minutes, walk down 37th street to see if I'm being abducted.
Bartender (While walking her to the door to let her out): Okay, ten minutes.

NO JOKE, the phone rang two minutes later- the girl lived in MY OLD building and she was going to call a car service to take her 400 feet across the street. RIDICULOUS!!!! on so many levels. There isn't a safer neighborhood in this city. I used to walk home after taking the train home at all hours of the morning.

Neti Pot Anyone?

2008-01-10T18:15:00.000-05:00

So, just pretending I was healthy didn't work. As I said a while back I was diagnosed with a deviated septum and put on a medicinal regimen that just wasn't economically feasible. The ENT Doc wanted me to use two sprays of Nasonex in each nostril every morning and to take Mucinex D everyday. Well, the Nasonex is a name brand prescription and with insurance (thank God I have it) is $30. One bottle lasted just under a month. Now the Mucinex is what hurts. It, of course, is over the counter and about $30 a box for 36 tablets which last 18 days. Oh, and it happens to be one of those drugs that make you feel like a felon to buy. Yeah, that's just what I need someone knocking on my door to confront me about my cold medicine purchases (By the way, does someone have the awful data entry task of logging all those purchases or is this one of those things that's supposed to really make us feel safer rather than actually getting the meth labs closed? I mean, really, the log you have to sign seems a bit outdated for 2008). Back to the rant at hand: so, the total for all the drugs I was prescribed was just under $90 a month. Needless to say, not only for the previously mentioned reason, but also because what person in the world wants to take medicine everyday regardless of whether they are having any symptoms (I had a hard enough time getting on a schedule for taking birth control and the consequences of messing that up are far greater), I didn't do what the doctor recommended and here I am with a cold, which will invariably turn into a sinus infection, needing to head to the drug store where I will have to sign my name and address to purchase some Sudafed. This brings me to my question for all of you out there (really, I'll take any advice, but I'd prefer to hear from those suffering from a deviated septum). Have you used a Neti Pot? and if so, would you recommend it? Evidently, Oprah has, but I'm not willing to go with it on her recommendation alone.

A Cold

2008-01-09T15:12:00.000-05:00

It's 60 degrees outside and I have a yucky cold... I read once that if you are feeling sick it sometimes helps to pretend that you are not. I tried that for about 10 minutes today, but I couldn't get over wanting to go back to bed. I think I might try again. I'll let you know how that goes...

The Midwest Rocks!

2008-01-06T23:05:00.000-05:00

Mere is looking for an apartment. Yesterday I had to take down the Christmas decorations because the tree was dead- yes, I know, the tree was dead when we bought it considering it had been chopped down already and for God knows how long (you never can get a straight answer from tree salesman- they seem to be as shady as (or more than!) car salesmen). Anyway, we had been watering it and it was no longer drinking- it had given up and its needles were falling down like rain. Luckily it was a slow drizzle rather than a tsunami, but either way it was time to get her out. And, as I am a bit crazy, I couldn't just put her on the street to be picked up, but I made Mere walk with me and the tree 7 blocks away to be mulched. I also did not buy a tree bag this year because they don't work and they are plastic. So, after we did our small part for Mother Earth (and yes, it may actually be better for Her to buy a real tree for lots of reasons, but I won't bore you with them...) we went to Astoria to the Broker who helped me find my apartment. All I can say is Liz is one of the most "New York-y" people I have ever met and she is hysterical- a bit crazy, but it's enjoyable without being scary. Anyway, another girl (Tamar) was there looking for an apartment around the same price range so we all piled into the car and went looking at about 5 apartments. Turns out she is from Detroit (yeah, Midwest!) and she was tons of fun. We laughed a lot and got to know one another and after the outing was over we went to an old hangout called McCann's. It is across the street from the first apartment I ever had in NYC and also the place I won a trip to Ireland from (found out they no longer do that). We all had a fabulous time together drinking, eating, and applying for cocktail waitress positions. Mere didn't, but Tamar and I did and we also were interviewed. It may be the perfect extra job if it works out- it would only be two nights a week. They would be long, 7pm to 4am, but they would help in the quest to afford my health insurance (I won't go into it because it makes me want to cry, but a healthy 30 year old who takes care of herself and has no major illnesses shouldn't be this expensive to cover. And that's all I'll say about that!) After leaving the bar and heading to the train we exchanged numbers and vowed to get together again. It was one of those New York moments that make living here so awesome!

New Years Resolution

2008-01-02T19:46:00.000-05:00

I have been reading Eat Pray Love and I can't put it down. And for the times that I have had to put it down, I have been using the most adorable picture of my nephews as my bookmark. And when I pick up the book and begin reading I am greeted by their smiling faces and the reminder of what love looks like. Anyway, I try not to make silly resolutions, so it tends to be a hope for the year. So, this year I am going to be fearless. I refuse to not do something because I am afraid of the word NO. And then I realized while sitting on the train how completely silly a New Year's Resolution is. January 1 is an arbitrary date in our lives, no more important or meaningful than any other day of the year has the potential to be. I will live each moment as if it has the importance of being the first day. And it does. Days are like snowflakes, there is not one that repeats. No matter how monotonous days sometimes feel they are always different, always unique, always the first in which the experiences of the day unwrap themselves into each moment. I plan to get wrapped up in that uniqueness, see through the eyes of a child, and truly live. I want to laugh and smile with utter abandon, and feel more deeply because I understand...

Lines

2007-12-31T16:53:00.001-05:00

Obscenely long lines that don't have a cool ride at the end just plain SUCK. I was at the Social Security Office and I stood in line for almost three hours. That was after going to the Manhattan office last week only to find out that you have to go to the office in your county. For me that's Queens and it was the last stop out on the E train. It took a long time to get out there, but I have to say the lady was very nice and very efficient- there were just so many people. I'm sure they were all taking advantage of not having to be at work today, too, but somehow I thought that I might be the only person who would want to be there on New Year's Eve. I was wrong. Something that just struck me as silly was the conversation between two women in front of me. They were complete strangers sharing personal information with one another in a line that was full of people listening including me. The younger girl- we'll call her Kathy to protect her identity (Not that she cared all that much)- was the talker and shared far more information than the other woman (I don't know her name) who was there to get her new baby girl, Elise, a social security card. Kathy is 26, grew up in Westchester, went to college in Albany, now lives in Elmhurst, Queens with her new husband that she married on October 28th. They had previously lived in Astoria (Queens), Greenpoint (Brooklyn) and Williamsburg (Brooklyn). There were 160 people at the wedding and she converted from Catholicism to Judaism for her new husband. But not to worry, he's Reform so she still gets to have a Christmas tree. They are waiting two years to have kids and her mother-in -law was unwilling to help them financially with the wedding. Warning!- if you are already complaining to perfect strangers about your mother-in-law after only two months, get into therapy now! Her job situation is a little precarious. The company she works for (she's a buyer for a retail clothing store- which again I will not name to protect her identity) was bought out and she is in the process of being downsized. I do have to say that I caught all this information while attempting to read my Time magazine in which they named Vladimir Putin as the Person of the Year. When these women said their good-byes I was shocked that they didn't exchange phone numbers. They knew more about one another than some of my friends know about me. Then again, I do have a blog. Strange how we are able to rationalize things...

Oh and by the way- HAPPY NEW YEAR's! Be safe and have a great time!!!

My Very Own Quote

2007-12-27T21:12:00.000-05:00

The cup is almost always half full and for those times that it's not I have the ingredients to fill it back up. I just have to dust them off and figure out how to mix it.

Sad

2007-12-27T08:40:00.000-05:00

Two teenage boys outside my window last night at 1 AM.

Boy 1: "You gotta go home, man."
Boy 2: (very upset) "I am not going home!"
Boy1: "Well, you can't stay out all night."
Boy 2: "Actually, I can. You're lucky your Dad's dead. I'm not going home."
Boy 1: "You can't stay out, come home with me."

Thank God I have a great family.

Christmas Party

2007-12-22T10:39:00.000-05:00

Richard, my musical theatre teacher had a Christmas party last night. He had made tons of homemade Italian food and I had too much red wine! There was artichokes, sausage and peppers, pesto rigatoni, and my favorite eggplant parmigiana. I walked into the party a little nervous because it was super crowded and I wasn't sure I would know anyone, but there were some people from my classes and it was a great time. I was not planning on being there all night, but Leah said that after eleven the Broadway actors start showing up- and who showed up but Karen Ziemba. I have never been to a party like this but it was a ton of fun. There were stars from times past too. I met a lot of people and I am so proud of myself- I carried about 10 business cards and handed everyone of them out. I'm not normally good at things like that, but I knew the party would be an opportunity to network. The best part of the party for me was as the crowd was filtering out a guy I had met (I don't remember his name- too much wine) played the piano and myself and two other women sang Christmas songs. Carols are one of my favorite things about Christmastime and I love to sing them at Mass on Christmas Eve with my family and then all the way home in the car. I'm not going home, so I was sure that I would be singing them to myself in the shower this year, but sitting around a live piano was fantastic! My kids will play piano...

Overheard at Walgreen's

2007-12-19T18:43:00.000-05:00

So I was at Walgreen's waiting for some photos to be developed. I was wandering the aisles attempting to kill some time when a twenty-something woman walked rapidly into the store on her cellphone. She passed behind me and this is what I heard:
"(In a defensive tone) I mean, nobody's perfect. That's why Jesus died."

It made me laugh. Bless her heart...

Ten on Tuesday

2007-12-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

1. It's officially a week until Christmas! Mere and I just finished trimming the tree. Mere, OB and I went to get it on Saturday, but we ran out of time to do anything other than put it in the stand and water it.
2. I just started shopping for Christmas. OOPS!
3. The elevator in the building I work in has a small flat screen TV that said Monday was the last day to get your cards in the mail to guarantee delivery by Christmas. Thank God for Priority Mail!
4. I'm staying in NYC for Christmas.
5. I've been applying for health insurance. The application is in, now they want additional information and I have to sign a contract to give them my first born...
6. Starting to catch up on some political news. I watched the first half of the Republican You Tube debate. I just have to say, all the talk about guns- silly, in my opinion. If you want to hear an interesting discussion on the topic listen to this interview by Leonard Lopate with a former gun lobbyist Richard Feldman here.

7. I watched Joyeux Noel last night with OB (from his Netflix Queue). I just have to say it was a good movie (I recommend it!), but man's need to battle man is the strangest concept for me to wrap my brain around. As soon as I think I have it figured out, some paradox shows itself and the reasoning for it (or against it, for that matter) breaks into a million little pieces.
8. Opinions can be lethal.
9. Another concept that can set your mind spinning is the "us and them" mentality. There is no way to be separate from this mindset. Even though we think of ourselves as individuals we are constantly placing ourselves or being placed by society into groups. Groups invariably create an "us and them" collective mentality.
10.I think leaf blowers are the laziest invention, EVER!

Lesson of the Day

2007-12-14T09:32:00.000-05:00

Don't watch Apocolypse Now before going to sleep and expect to be able to sleep well. It won't happen and you'll feel like you should skip work and sleep all day.

Quote

2007-12-12T09:45:00.000-05:00

"Unique is unique. There is no very unique or extremely unique. There is only one. There has never been another Jodi Beck and there never will be again. That is unique."

Thanks, Uncle Joe.

Actually Heard This

2007-12-10T22:26:00.000-05:00

On the #6 train heading uptown yesterday afternoon, I overheard this conversation.

Man in his 20's (with a valley girl accent): Yeah, I don't know who I'm gonna vote for yet. I'm just gonna vote for the one who's gonna win.

Asian-American Man in his 20's: I know, and it's really down to Hillary and Obama. Either one would be fine, they really are the same.

Man in his 20's (still with a valley girl accent): Yeah, I'm gonna vote for the one who's going to win.

I am still in shock! Problem one with the conversation: How could anyone possibly know who is going to win before the votes are counted. This is a huge problem with the media coverage this time out. They have been touting the inevitability of certain candidates and people actually believe it. Polls are the worst invention ever! And can anyone tell me if they have ever actually been polled during any political campaign this year or ever? Problem two with the conversation: Last I heard the only people who have dropped out of the race so far are Stephen Colbert and Tommy Thompson. People need to believe that their vote is what counts, not what the pundits say. Problem three with the conversation: Hillary and Barack are not the same. In the grand scheme of things of course they fall closer to each other on the spectrum of politics than say Kucinich and Gulliani, but they are not the same.
I am still undecided and I am not endorsing anyone with this message.
I am Jodi Beck and I approve this message.

Difficult Week

2007-12-09T12:34:00.000-05:00

I realized that I hadn't written in almost a week. It was one of those weeks that I'm glad to put behind me and to direct myself forward toward the moments ahead. I was afraid this week that I'm not in the right place. You know that feeling that no matter what you are doing you are somehow behind. The puzzle wasn't coming together. It became that type of fear that almost cripples you. I'm not used to that type of fear. I normally face my fears head on. My fears are normally of the type that push me into action. This week my fears had me wishing I had stayed in bed. I will not have a week like that again. The things I need to focus on in the coming weeks:
1. Meet with Richard to go over Ross Reports
2. Write a cover letter for agents
3. Send out mailing with my new, fabulous headshots!
4. Work with Doug to figure out a cabaret
5. Find a second job (I babysat last night and I absolutely loved it!)
6. Find a reasonable health insurance plan
7. Take stuff to Goodwill- I'm tired of looking at it in the foyer (Yes, I said foyer- I have one of those in my fabulous apartment!)
8. Get a Christmas tree
9. Meet with new voice teacher for more music
10. Become more aware of my bad habits (nervousness brings them out, but it is also the time that I am the most unaware of them) and conquer them!